krystle untitled

Practically Speaking

2012-01-06T17:10:00.004-07:00

"All that we claim, then, in this life of sanctification is that by an act of faith we put ourselves into the hands of the Lord, for Him to work in us all the good pleasure of His will, and then, by a continuous exercise of faith, keep ourselves there. When we do it, and while we do it, we are in the scripture sense, truly pleasing God....Our part is the trusting; it is His to accomplish the results."
-- The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life by Hannah Whitall Smith

So, for me, it was a complete act of faith when I fully surrendered my life over to God's control. I had done it in little ways with little things over the years, but when I really allowed God to stir my spirit and respond to His plan for my life, that's when I fully practiced obedience.

But what does obedience to God look like? That's just it: it looks different for everyone. For some, it won't take quitting your job and moving across the country, going into debt and learning a new skill - it may take staying where you're at, keeping your job, and perfecting the skills you have. It's about perspective, it's about timing, but most importantly it's about God's will for YOU.

I love this excerpt from the book (above) because it really helps provide the practical steps of trusting God and living that out. You can call yourself a Christian, but until you've experienced surrender, until you've stepped out in faith, until you've relinquished control and breathed easier as a result - then you haven't truly experienced some of the Great joys that God has to offer. In honor of both my love of lists and the gems that this excerpt has to offer - I'd like to take this quote one phrase at a time.

1. "by an act of faith we put ourselves into the hands of the Lord"
I know that it takes a great act of faith to put yourself into the hands of the Lord. I feel the constant fight all the time to think that I can handle things on my own, and I believe this is something we all will combat. We want to tangibly know that we've got control of things in our life: our money, our relationships, our time, etc. But, I cannot think of a single time that I put my trust in God that He let me down. Not one. I can think of many times where I tried to do something myself and was disappointed. I can think of times when I but my faith in other people and was left unsatisfied. But God has shown me that my faith is safe in his hands - and ultimately, I think that's what a lot of us really need to know. Not safe from hardship, trial, struggle, not safe in that way, but safe in the way of knowing that the outcome will be perfect, God breathed, God ordained, and God honoring.

2. "and then, by a continuous exercise of faith, keep ourselves there."

Do you think of your relationship with God as a "continuous exercise of faith"? If you don't maybe you should. It does take a constant act to keep yourself in submission to God's will and to be obedient. But here's the thing I've learned, I don't do things with a reluctant obedience, I do them eagerly and expectantly, because I know if God's asked me to do it, I can't even begin to imagine what's in store. Over the past several years, I have had to continuously choose faith over worry, patience over pressure, and trust over fear. And time and again, God showed me that my obedience was rewarded because His will was so much better than I could have imagined.

It was two years from when I learned about sex trafficking that God actually called me to action.

I thought I wanted to go to school in TX, I settled for FL, but God answered last with AZ.

I thought I would study international law, but within a few months of school, God called me to domestic law.

I thought I would work on combatting trafficking dealing with adults, and God answered with juvenile court first.

I had and still have no idea the ways that God was and is preparing me for this journey. But this was what I didn't realize at first: you aren't prepared for ONE journey, ONE task, you are constantly being reformed for the next great adventure or trial. While that could make me anxious, that I may never know in what way God may use me next, I have chosen to think - how awesome is that!? God doesn't forget us, He is constantly working on us, if we allow Him. What dedication, what love, what a gift? Philippians 1:6 says, "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."

3. "Our part is the trusting; it is His to accomplish the results."

The pressure is off - we just have to trust and God will do the rest. Well yes, and no. And I think that this comes from the section above - that trust is a constant act of faith. I don't think that you say, "I trust God" once and you're good to go. We're human, we're fickle, we're anxious creatures. When things look like they're getting out of control, we take control back. We fight being out of control because it's unpredictable, it's unknown, and it's actually un-knowable. But, if you were going to have one person who knew everything that you didn't - who would it be? There is no safer place to lay your trust than in a Father who would send His own son to die so that you could be in relationship with Him - to trust Him without barriers and to know and experience His love.

I'm still honored that God chooses me, and I know that He delights in the fact that I choose Him for my life. NONE of this stuff is easy - but is easy stuff ever really worth anything? The big risks get the big payoffs, and when you're choosing a life lived in the Spirit and a life lived in your own strength, the scale tips in favor of the bigger risk: trusting in a God you cannot see, to experience a life you cannot have apart from Him, to spend eternity in a place you cannot imagine.

10 Lessons From 2011

2012-01-01T21:02:00.001-07:00

Hosted by my friend Eric on his blog. Check out my list here.

Why the World Has Got It All Backwards

2011-11-23T12:54:00.003-07:00

Somehow, the generation that I have grown up with has got it all wrong: they've decided that everything is about them. It's about what they can achieve, what they can accomplish, and how good they will feel doing it. If that isn't the very antithesis of how the Bible calls us to live, I don't know what is.

Can I fault everyone for thinking this way? Absolutely not, and I would be judgmental, even hypocritical for doing so. But, can I try even harder to live out my faith in a way that demonstrates what God has called me to? Absolutely. Can I give credit whenever possible to a God who has gifted me, called me, and who I've agreed to be obedient to, for His glory? Yes - and I should.

After reading this article online, I was struck by how people believe that they can make something out of themselves from nothing - and they can then feel good about taking all the credit for doing it. It's tempting to live this way. It's tempting to think that you, yourself, hold all of the control over your profession, over your success, and to think - the world can't tell me what I can be, that's MY choice. But what if you answer to someone bigger, more important, more forgiving, more righteous, more loving than you can even fathom? Then it isn't about you, in fact, it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with your Creator.

This past weekend I was fortunate enough to be able to share at a conference on my decision to go to law school in pursuit of combatting human trafficking. While this was a conscious decision that I made and followed through with - it wasn't my idea per se. It was my calling. It was about something bigger than just me having some fancy initials behind my name, or being hailed as someone "smart" enough to go to law school, this was about responding to God's calling for my life. This was about obedience. My decision solely rested on the fact that God wanted to use me for His Kingdom, for His glory, and that I should just be honored that I'll get to be a conduit of any kind for justice and mercy in this world.

As I read segments from this article where one blogger writes, "Attention is my drug," I am saddened by what this world has told us - and by what we've chosen to believe because we don't know the Truth. The article also says, "A Pew Research poll asked 18-to-25-year-olds about their generation’s top goals, and 51 percent responded with “to be famous.”

Fame? Really? For what? How will you feel good about yourself at the end of your life when you can look back and say - "well, at least I was well known." No. Not for me. I want to look back and see God's faithfulness. I want to look back and see all of the ways that I submitted and surrendered to God in the midst of decisions that I could have made myself. I want to look back and see ways that I humbled myself to give credit to my Savior. I want to look back actually, and remember nothing about ME. In John 3:30 the Bible says, "He must become greater; I must become less."

Being part of a generation in a world that wants us to "make something of ourselves" to "get our name out there" and to "show them what you're made of" you have to fight constantly not to make any of these things your mantra. In fact, I should be "making something of His gospel." I should be "getting His name out there" and "showing the world what He's made of." Love, grace, mercy, TRUTH.

The Bible tells us in one of my favorite verses, and the oft-quoted Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I can't stress that last part enough. God doesn't go arranging all things for good just for the fun of it. This is about intent - our and His.

I hope that I can be a dedicated servant and follower of Christ. I hope that my works will be noticed by the world in a way that they can say - "how did she do that?" and so that I may say, "It wasn't me." In John 12:26 the Bible says, "If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him." I hope that I can be a servant in a way that honors God.

hiatus

2011-11-09T13:14:00.004-07:00

I haven't had a decent substantive post in quite some time, so I figured I better start sprucing up my blog for the holidays. I can't hang up lights or put up a tree online, so I'll be doing some "word decorating" to get myself back into blogging.

I am sitting in the library supposed to be reading for my criminal procedure class that's in 2 hours. And yes, sadly, it will probably take the entire 2 hours to read the 25 pages for class. What's on the agenda today? Miranda rights. Perfect! Everyone knows those..."you have the right to remain silent..." you know the rest.

It's been a great semester so far. God has continued to direct me to new things and new people each week. The way that He has introduced me to certain people and opportunities continues to blow my mind.

In lighter news, and in honor of my LOVE of lists, here are some random things that can serve as an update since it's been forever since I've posted.

1. The amazing Arizona weather is finally here! Although, I must say, that the 60's are a little too cool for me. I know, for my friends in the midwest that is laughable, but 60's can be a little chilly!

2. As a result of the cooler temperatures, my 8lb maltese-who-just-got-a-haricut, needs a sweater. I am not a proponent of animal clothes, I think it's silly. But he's shivering. So, I am a bigger non-fan of animal cruelty - thus, the sweater wins out.

3. I have read one non-school book this semester: House Rules by Jodi Piccoult. I would recommend it. It is about a teenager with aspergers who is accused of murder. Although, one disclaimer, the courtroom scenes in the book are NOT accurate, and in fact the prosecutors snide comments would NOT be allowed in the courtroom. Just so you know.

4. My parents are coming for Thanksgiving - which I am very excited about because I haven't seen them in several months. Although, one point of embarassment for my dad, (who cares, he doesn't read this). We have been talking on Facetime recently (like Skype for those of you who don't use it) and my Dad has decided that this is a place or a time rather than an app that allows us to communicate. So, yesterday his text reads, "See you at Facetime!" Too cute.

5. I was able to travel to Seattle recently for the first time to speak at conference on sex trafficking. After a year and a half of law school, I finally realized that I had learned a thing or two, and it was so rewarding to get to share it.

Ok, enough procrastinating, and on to this reading...

Interest in pinterest?

2011-09-23T09:51:00.003-07:00

Ok, I held out for almost 4 years before I joined Facebook. Why? I don't know really, stubbornness, not wanting to go with the crowd, etc. But now, everyone's getting on board with this whole Pinterest thing, and I feel like maybe I should join now, before everyone's grandma does - and THEN getting on board.

So, I guess I will join. Which I just want to say, you have to "request an invitation to join" which sounds like a sneaky way to try and sound exclusive. Hmm... Then, after you request an invite, you get an email saying, "you're on the waiting list." WHAT!? Send the invite! This is now turing into a seemingly VIP thing, which, come on, it's not.

Um, since I'm not planning a wedding, since I have no money to re-do my house (or wait, I don't even have a house), since I actually don't have money for most things other than necessities right now, I guess it will be a dream board - which is I suppose the idea after all.

Update to follow soon.

almost home

2011-07-28T18:26:00.001-07:00

It's Friday here in Dumaguete, and I head home tomorrow morning via Manila and Honolulu. So, 24 hours from now I'll head toward Phoenix, and about 36 hours after that, I'll actually make it home.

I'm definitely excited to be returning home, but we have made some incredible friends here. There's a girl that we became really close with from the law school, and she's really great. She's in her second year of law school, she works hard, she's passionate about women's issues, and we have shared many a laugh with her about, well, everything.

From Filipino culture to American culture, boys, law school, Harry Potter, music, we had a good laugh about everything and we have lots of things in common. Traveling around the city with her was great too. She'd talk to our pedicab drivers for us, get us perfect seats at the movie theater, get us tickets to a sold out showing of Harry Potter, introduce us to all of the good food and tell us where to shop. She was like our local guide, and we'll miss her a lot.

Obviously this summer has been an incredible learning experience - what else could it be? God has shown me so much about what He can do through people who are following His will, and even what He can do in spite of those who aren't seeking His glory.

If God spoke one verse to me this summer, it would have to be: "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." -Romans 8:28 (NLT)

Throughout my journeys, God has continued to show me this. No matter the tragedy or the hardship, the injustice or the suffering, God has found a way to bring good from that hurt and to use that for the Kingdom. This is the most encouraging and faithful thing He wanted me to understand this summer. It can be so easy to look at all of these problems in the world: trafficking, domestic violence, rape, sexual assault, and want to give up, and want to say the enemies are too many and their power is too big. We can't keep prosecuting them after they've committed these horrible offenses, throwing them in jail and thinking we've somehow "won." It doesn't feel like victory when there's already a victim.

And that's when this verse comes back. There will be victory. There will be justice. And this will be used for good.

I have about 2 weeks after I get back to sift through my experiences before school starts. Not that my processing will be done in 2 weeks, but my brain will have to share some space with everything else I'll be experiencing this fall.

Looking forward to the next chapter. But that's the beauty of it, the page turns both directions - so there will be much to reread and process for a long time to come.

Gender Sensitivity Conference

2011-07-20T02:41:00.001-07:00

We arrived in Siquijor on Monday, a nearby island. We were speaking at a conference at Siquijor State College. The conference, "Gender Sensitivity and Understanding Women and Girl's Rights" was really the first of its kind for the college, and even for the region. One of the staff members was telling us during the lunch break that they haven't had a conversation like this at their school before. Talking about domestic violence, trafficking, sexual harassment and women's rights should not be something that is not talked about - anywhere.

The students obviously had questions about these topics, and many students wrote their questions down to be read aloud during the open forum. One girl asked about filing a law suit against her boyfriend for contracting an STD from him. Another student asked whether homosexual males are often trafficked. They had many questions about why trafficking happens, what is considered sexual assault, and what the resources are for trafficking victims. There was not a shortage of good questions to answer and expand on.

During lunch we had the conversation that just because people aren't already talking about these things doesn't mean they're not happening. These students may not be hearing about sexual harassment in the classroom, but that doesn't mean it's not happening, As statistics would go, many students in the room probably come from a home where violence is present. For them to hear about the laws that protect them is important, empowering even.

To stand in an auditorium on the other side of the world and talk about these issues certainly provides a global perspective on gender issues. No country is alone in combatting these crimes - all too often targeted at women. Women and men both need to take responsibility for these outcomes and realize that until we combat these crimes together, unified as a people, then there will also be gender biases and a skewed victim pool.

The conference was incredibly successful, and with a view like this, our trip was fabulous overall...

Location:Siquijor, Philippines

Post #101

2011-07-14T07:01:00.001-07:00

Really for my 101st post I should write something exciting, but I'm taking the easy way out...

Check out this link from the Philippines.

http://beta.su.edu.ph/article/192-Arizona-State-U-Law-Students-Speak-on-GenderBased-Violence

And here's some more scenes from the Philippines.

Dumaguete, Philippines

2011-07-10T03:39:00.001-07:00

I didn't expect that it would take this long to get a post out, but, sure enough, I've already been here a week. It has been quite an experience already, with 3 weeks still to go.

Getting here from Cambodia was easy, physically, but it was quite a change in gears shifting from that setting to this one.

Not in a bad way by any means, but I am not traveling in a 20-person entourage anymore, and everything is now focused through a legal lens, so it's different.

A friend from law school and I are here for 1 month doing an externship in Dumaguete working with Gender Watch Against Violence and Exploitation (G-WAVE). We will be doing anti-trafficking work and assisting in GWAVE’s community efforts and connections with the local law school.

The last thing we expected when we walked off of the plane was a huge sign with our names on it.

We aren’t famous, not even close, but we felt like celebrities. Most of the GWAVE staff greeted us at the airport, loaded us in to their very tiny cars (slightly larger than a Smart Car) and rushed us off to breakfast.

On our way to breakfast we drove past the law school, only to see another huge sign out front:

The spelling was close enough, because really, the thought was the ONLY thing that counted. We were welcomed to Dumaguete with open arms as they were all eager to share their work with us and collaborate to combat trafficking across the globe.

We spent our first few days acclimating to the local cuisine, traffic, transportation, and even to the daily activities of the GWAVE staff. Last Sunday morning we were able to participate in GWAVE’s Sunday morning radio show on human trafficking. They were given a one hour spot which they use to educate the community on trafficking issues and to answer questions texted in from listeners about the topic. We did our best to weigh in, which was a little difficult to do given that most of the show was in the local dialect, Visaya.

We have also participated in another law-student radio show on the Domestic Violence law here. It's a very interesting culture. Conservative because of the deep influence of the Catholic church, and yet, there are so many rape and domestic violence cases reported here. Last week we went out to take pictures of a scene where a woman was raped, to assist a prosecutor. Unfortunately, the police here don't always properly investigate, or investigate at all, so we went with an attorney to take pictures of the scene to present as evidence in court next week.

We also gave a talk at a local university on sex trafficking in the U.S.

To say that the students were surprised that sex trafficking happens in the U.S. is an understatement. Some of them didn't even know that sex trafficking is happening here in the Philippines, and even here in Dumaguete. It seems surprising to us that they wouldn't know that, and yet, many people in America don't even realize the prevalence of trafficking in our own country. The student listened intently, and asked good questions. Some were eager to get their picture taken with us at the end - more the result of fascination with Americans than our fabulous presentation.

It's been a great trip already, and there's lots more to share soon.

Two Weeks In Cambodia

2011-07-03T02:03:00.003-07:00

I can't really imagine that I'll be able to sum up my two weeks there in one post, but I'll at least try to put into words the incredible experience that I had.

It's hard to believe that I am the same girl, who at 10, was unable to spend the night at a friend's house - I would get homesick around 9:30/10:00 and have to head home. I guess age and wisdom come with growth, because this summer I will be spending 6 weeks a long way from home, beginning with my last 2 weeks in Cambodia. I had been dreaming about making this trip for about 3 years now. I had heard about the wonderful people there and the incredible things that God was doing, but stories will only do it some justice - seeing it all firsthand was such a gift.

It was a common conversation on the trip that the group of 20 of us who went on this trip with CIY Engage would constantly be asked upon our return, "So, what did you do?" Which we knew, up front, that this would be the hardest question to answer in a way that people would understand. Because while on an American to-do list we didn't "do" a lot, it felt like we did, and we were so enriched and so moved by our experiences that it seems impractical to say that we did nothing. But, we spent time with the people of Cambodia. We spent time with the children of Cambodia, and most importantly, we spent time watching God at work in His Kingdom.

This trip was focused on looking at the issue of human trafficking in Cambodia and how the people there, in a number of ways and ministries, are doing their best to combat the issue. Through prayerful consideration, they have developed many facets to their approach to combatting trafficking. From education-centered prevention, to aftercare cousenling and social services for trafficked girls, to even restoring relationships with the girls and their impoverished families, the people that we were able to meet have implemented a thorough approach to help their community. And most importantly, they credit their successes to the grace of God. They turn to Him for guidance and direction, for strength and resources, and for encouragement and reconciliation. They understand that through Him all things are possible, and without Him success for these girls, their families and their country would not be possible.

To say that I was changed by my time there would be an understatement. I'm not a different person, but my heart has changed. I think it actually may have gotten bigger to make room for the people that we met. God used this experience to break my heart even more for the issue of trafficking, but also to encourage me that I'm on the right path.

When the gates of the safe house for rescued girls slid open, a wave of emotion literally swept over me. Tears welled up in my eyes, and a few slipped out. As we walked through the entrance, two rows of girls and staff members stood with smiling faces to greet us. They stood in two parallel lines so that we had to walk between the two rows. Imagine feeling so loved when all you want to do is say, "No, I love YOU more." To be greeted in that way, when I was the one who wanted to appear overjoyed at the sight of them was too much to take. It was a culmination of the last few years of my journey all coming together at once. These people are why I know about human trafficking. These girls are why my heart breaks for all girls who are trafficked. This very safe house is what God used to call me to law school. It was an overwhelming moment, but one that I will always remember.

The time that we spent there was ________ (adjective expressing powerful emotion, life-changing experience, Holy moment, awe). I am so thankful for the opportunity to go and be. Thank you to all of my dear friends who helped support me on this journey and prayed for my time there.

I have already arrived in the Philippines for the next part of my summer, and I will do my best to post more as I go. For now, here's some pictures from my time in Cambodia...

Gearing up

2011-06-08T23:29:00.003-07:00

It's hard to believe that the summer I've been preparing for since last November is almost here. I leave next week for my summer in Cambodia and the Philippines, and I am truly excited. Have I started packing? No. Have I made a list? Yes. So, partial credit.

I've been so busy these last few weeks just catching up on, well, the real world, outside of finals. I was able to spend a week with my family, and then I was so saddened to hear about the tornado that tore through the town I used to live in. So many families were affected, so many lives were lost, homes destroyed, and yet, even from far away I was able to see the people that I knew and loved working together to provide help to those in need. I wasn't even there, and yet I was so moved by the way that people came together to move as the body of Christ should move: as one, with one purpose: love for their neighbor.

I was also fortunate enough to be able to see one of my very best friends graduate from graduate school in New York. She's had a hell of a year, and yet, she has survived it all with great grace and true appreciation for life, and I couldn't have been more proud of her. I visited her classroom at her school, saw an improv show, wandered through Central Park, and saw Billy Elliot on Broadway. Great trip, so glad I could be there to support her, and obviously have some fun in the meantime.

Since then, it's been just enjoying some downtime, doing some research for a professor, and just trying to let the reality of the summer ahead of me settle in. God has given me this opportunity - it is the summer that I prayed for, truly.

I'll do my best to post updates whenever I can. Looking forward to a summer to remember...

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-07T17:25:00.007-07:00

Dear Mom,

Happy Mother's Day! In honor of you this mother's day, I want to thank you for some valuable life lessons you've taught me through the years...

1. Being late has it's consequences.
Remember my little run-in with the elementary school tardy squad in 3rd grade? Well, after about 17 tardies in a row, a letter finally got sent home to my parents that if I was tardy again, there were going to be some serious consequences. Whose fault was this alleged lateness? Mine. I moved like a snail in the morning. I had a grumpy face and a bad attitude. I have never been a morning person, so my mom thought it would be a good lesson if I finally had to deal with the consequences of being late. Well, too bad for her, the plan backfired. She looked like a negligent parent, and I was an innocent bystander....

2. Any long-distance friendship can be maintained with a phone call.
We moved around a lot while I was growing up, and my mom moved around a lot while she was growing up too. This means we both had friends in many states and timezones. I remember a lot of different things my mom did (and still does), but talking on the phone definitely stands out. She is great on the phone. I mean, she can tell fabulous stories, laugh a ton, cry with someone, comfort them, catch them up on family stuff - all from a phone call. I watched her keep friends from Texas to California, from California to Florida and everywhere in between. She showed me how to be a long-distance friend, and I'm so grateful for that.

3. Bangs can be yours, if you want them.
Being the youngest, I got to see my sisters experience all the cool stuff before I did: makeup, staying up late, fancy jewelry, bangs. Bangs? Yes. Bangs, were, the, coolest. As a little girl, going into preschool, I too wanted bangs. Why didn't I have them already? Because I had tight, spiral curls, and little girls with little curls do not need bangs. But, what did I tell my mom? "I want bangs like the sissies." And she said, "ok!" She was too nice. She got out the scissors, and snip. One second later...poof. They had curled up to form a little halo above my forehead - not the look I intended. Regardless, I thought I needed them, and she helped me get them. (see proof with me and my lunchbox)

4. She's got my back, always, no matter what, no matter when.
Whether it was a problem with a teacher (first grade), a fight with a friend (third grade), or a homesick sleepover (4th grade), she was there for me. In first grade I had a teacher that was upset with me for reading too well. Yeah, yeah, I sound like a bragger, but I mean it. She punished me for being ahead of the class. Who marched in for an impromptu teacher conference? My mom. Sorry Mrs. B, don't mess with her. When my best friend and I had a fight in 3rd grade, my mom was right there with me. When we made up the next day, my mom wasn't ready to move on yet. She always told me, "You just wait until it's your kids. We get upset with you, and then you just get over it, and it's hard for us parents to do the same." And when I had to come home from countless sleepovers because I was homesick, she came to get me. And when I got home and wanted to go back? She made me stay. Eventually, I made it the whole night....

5. She's always proud of me, and always cares what I have to share.
When i have good news to share, my mom is usually the first phone call. Who else will care as much that I did well on a paper, that my teacher said something nice about me, that I got a fabulous deal on a dress, that I found these cool new recipes? Uh, pretty much no one will show as much enthusiasm as my mom will. She might ask me 50 more questions than I want to answer about the good news, but who else would think of 50 questions, or take the time to ask them? Answer: no one.

Mom, for all the phone calls, care packages, haircuts, mary kay orders, kohls trips, pedicures, encouragement, support and love, I thank you. Happy Mother's Day!
Yes, this is me with no neck and sweet hair.

road trip

2011-05-04T22:18:00.002-07:00

I've been retelling stories from my childhood lately, a nostalgic look at the past. Well, my oldest sister, Kristan, would like a good story told about her, since most of my stories are about my times with Kandyce. Since Kristan is 8 years older than me, we didn't have as much time together as kids, and so our adventures came later in life.

It was the summer before my senior year of college and Kristan had just moved to FL. She wasn't yet employed, and thankfully for me, this meant I had a live-in college advisor at my disposal. So, when I decided that I wanted to visit a few of the schools that I was applying to, my college advisor was not only able to set up a tour at every location, but she booked our hotels, planned our routes, and organized our entire adventure.

When I say organized - don't take that lightly. I had a manilla folder for every school. Inside was a printout of our tour time and confirmation. She also printed out an admissions requirements list and some facts about the school. If it was out-of-state, throw in residency classification stuff too. She..was..thorough, to say the least.

This is in the days before Garmins and maps on your cell phone (remember those days?) so we were ready the old fashioned way: mapquest directions straight from one location to the next. We set off on our 4-day adventure, and really, it was a blast. We danced in the car, we stayed in nasty motels, and we made nightly video diaries of our thoughts of every location. We saw all of the schools I was thinking about, and tried to picture me there in a year, as a wide-eyed, excited college freshman.

Kristan is endlessly patient and she had been through this. She had applied to college, picked one, gone through it and made it to the other side. We tried to picture me as a Georgia bulldawg, a FL gator, a FL seminole (hard to imagine), and some random liberal arts school without a mascot. We tested out college towns in FL and GA and really, we were sad to see the trip end.

For the next several years following our journey, Kristan and I would bring back any number of inside jokes from our trip. It was like an entire summer at camp compressed down into four days' time. Minus the campfire, we had all of the nostalgia and memories that several weeks could bring. The funny thing is, Kristan would bring up that trip for a lot longer than I would. She finally stopped joking about it until I asked her recently why. You know, her response made so much sense to me, and I felt bad for teasing her every time she wanted to relive a little piece of our trip.

It was really the first time that we'd had concentrated time together as adults, well, me as a semi-adult. It was such a special trip because it was just us. It was our time together before I would move away and go off to college. It was her chance to be a big sister to me, and so why not relive that as often as we can?

This picture isn't from the trip, but it's us together nonetheless. Kristan, thanks for the adventure...

the best friend's club

2011-04-24T23:01:00.005-07:00

As alluded to in my last post, I've got some decent childhood memories to share - one of those being the beginning and rapid ending of the Best Friend's Club.

My sister Kandyce and I both read the Babystitter's Club books growing up. We loved them. And as she began to grow out of them, (and probably into something like Sweet Valley High - old school!) I was growing into them. Well, if you aren't familiar with the premise of the Babysitters Club, it's pretty self explanatory: a bunch of friends get together, they take phone calls from people who need babysitters, and then you read about their childcare adventures, and everything in between. Riveting you say? I know. Truly thrilling stuff.

(As an aside, I was also a reader of finer literature: i.e. Goosebumps, The Boxcar Children and anything by Beverly Cleary).

Anyway, my sister, being 4 years my senior, had the brilliant plan to launch a Best Friend's Club. Sure, we had no purpose like those babysitting chicks, but she'd invite her friends over for a "meeting" and the club would begin. I of course was there by default, both because I was her younger sister and because I lived there. So, the first meeting happens, and unfortunately I don't remember how many people came. But, at least one of her friends that came was a mouthy one, and being at least 8, I too was a little feisty at times. Kandyce had puffy painted (that used to be a verb) a little, glass candy jar with "The Best Friend's Club" on the side - to collect dues of course.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Dues? For what? Who knows actually. But what I do know is that every good club includes dues. So, I think she got a dollar from everyone. The "meeting" starts, and I really can't remember what sparked the events that happened next. Too bad these might be the most important details, but, here's what you need to know:

Her mouthy friend called me a b**ch. Who knows why. but chances are I said something a little sarcastic to her first...Kandyce told her "no one talks to my sister like that, b**ch" and kicked the girl out. The best friend's club had its first meeting, with dues and all, and never met again.

Ok, so there are a number of questions that even I have with this story:

1. Who was this mean girl, and why did she feel the "b" word was necessary? I mean, she was in 8th grade, that's serious stuff!!
2. What did I do to instigate that? I know I'm not innocent in this little exchange, I just don't trust myself enough to think that I didn't say something to set her off like that .
3. What did my sister do with the dues?

You know, that being said, this wasn't the last time that Kandyce would tell someone not to talk to me like that. Not that we went around starting and ending clubs, but she looked out for me in later years too.

So, what have I learned from this? Well, for starters, don't judge a club by its name. Clearly, the best friend's club was not accurate; it should have been, "Best Friends Until You Mess With my Sister" Club. Also, don't pay dues to a club until you know its legit.

the real me

2011-04-20T20:43:00.007-07:00

So, it's time for the truth to come out. I didn't grow up wanting to be a lawyer. In fact, first I wanted to be a teacher. Why? So I could read stories aloud to the kids all day, obviously. And not just any stories, hardcover picture books where you hold the book with one hand at the bottom, open, facing your captive audience, and discreetly turn pages with your other hand. I wanted to be like the story lady at the library.

Growing up with sisters we played teacher/school a lot. Since I was the youngest, I was often the obedient student. I distinctly remember one of my sister's teaching me using her magic wand as a pointer. Yes, I said it, her magic wand. That magic wand was famous really. It was featured in many a bedtime story by my dad. Something about "jumping from cloud to cloud." I don't know, maybe it was a Honduran bedtime story.

We played a lot of other things too. What's funny is, I didn't realize that the other things we played were weird, or odd until I told people as an adult. In my friend Eric's attempt to prepare for the birth of his daughter, he asked me about growing up with sisters to find out what we did, what we played with, and what it was like growing up with girls.

So, I told him the truth, not knowing it wasn't normal. Then, over winter break, I found some remnants of these childhood memories - and it all came rushing back.

I have an alter ego. Or rather, I should say, had an alter ego: meet Shelly Rena. Here's the thing you need to now, her last name is pronounced Renee, Renae, or Renay. Why I spelled it Rena? I have no idea. Why my name was Shelly Rena, I also have no idea, except for the fact that I do know that the letters in "Shelly" flow beautifully in cursive, and since I was learning cursive at the time she came to "be," I'm guessing that's why.

So, what did I do as Shelly? The usual stuff: any shopping needs I had at any of the "pretend" stores my sisters and I would operate. My shopping alter ego? I sound insane. But, my sisters and I, we played Target, grocery store (don't know why it wasn't named, ok, we'll go with Albertsons), and most importantly, JC Penny. Now here's what I didn't know, most people just played "store," they didn't play a specific store. I guess that's where our normal became every else's weird.

Target was cool. They had free newsletters for kids, and this was when recycling first became big, so my oldest sister started a "Save the Earth" club, prompted by a Target newsletter. See, we were innovative, forward-thinking kids. My other sister started a "Best Friends Club," but that is for another blog post entirely.

JC Penny came to be because, brilliantly, JC Penny gave out those HUGE, 1,000 page catalogues for free in store. So, we'd get one of those and take turns being the JC Penny Associate and the customer, and the customer would get to come in with her checkbook and buy anything in the catalog. We would sift through every page, running up ridiculous tabs of all kinds of things we were buying that naturally, no one needs.

Here's proof from one of Shelly's shopping trips....

Growing up with sisters was adventurous - not like boys claim adventure, but our own kind. I had a great childhood, with a great many memories of playtime and make believe. Hard to think that now, I'm in law school, far removed from my days as Shelly Rena. Maybe if I get to run my own practice one day I can add her in for old time sake: Fernandez, Rena & Associates.

Side note: Another random thing I found over break that I just had to show was a check made out to me, by me, from...well, read the signature line. So random. I have no idea why I wrote this.

It's not cliche

2011-03-24T13:09:00.003-07:00

"The more things change, the more they stay the same." (Look here if you want to know who said this, apparently it isn't that clear.

I had some of my closest and oldest (in length of relationship, not age) friends here visiting last week, and it was such a special time for us. Two of us have been friends since high school, and we met our other friend in college when we were randomly assigned as roommates. We've been through a lot together. College, marriage, death of friends, death of parents, babies. It's been incredible to have friends that knew you when you were 16 and naive, 21 and still naive, and now 26 and all experiencing adulthood together.

When we're together it's obvious that life has changed, but together, we haven't. We argue, we discuss, we get emotional, we laugh - a lot, and it's just a true testament to our friendship. We continue to grow up, together, although literally apart.

These are the kind of friends that really know me. They know what my facial expressions mean, my body language, my "I need a nap" personality, and they just get it. There's no hiding anything from these friends, they've lived with me, they've heard my heart on any number of topics, and they've been there through it all.

These days like this are not endless, and I always try to remind myself of that. One of us is about to have a baby, and hopefully the other two of us will be married one day, and life will continue to change. But, if I've learned anything, it's that our friendship will change too, but not too much. It will reshape itself to allow for these new people in our lives and it will grow to become stronger to handle all of the things in our lives still to come.

Thank you dear friends for your love and support and for being you - then, and now.

Here's an old-school photo as a tribute to our college days :)

narrow view

2011-03-12T11:28:00.003-07:00

I've recently been sitting in a lot of meetings about human trafficking. This is great, this is why I came to law school, this is what God called me to, so I'm so thankful for the opportunity.

Recently though, a conversation was brought up about the narrowness of faith-based initiatives, specifically in the area of safe houses built and funded by Christian groups. Comments have said, these faith-based shelters are great, but they're so narrow, the idea is that they want more than just "Christians" providing services for victims.

Ok, fine. But where are the people from the non-faith based community? Us "Christians" aren't excluding other groups from helping - they're not showing up in the same way that "Christians" are.

I'm annoyed at the assumption that Christians are providing services for trafficking victims that aren't sufficient. Is knowing Christ mandatory for their volunteers - yes! Is that a problem? Well, as far as my understanding goes, some of these faith-based victims services don't allow their volunteers to but any faith requirements or restrictions on the victims they're working with. Will it come naturally through a caring and loving relationship with these volunteers? It just might. Should we be scared of that, or ungrateful that those with faith are offering support? That's a dangerous line to walk: saying "we're grateful that you Christians are building these safe houses - but we don't want your agenda pushed on them."

Please! Give us some credit! We can love others and share the love of Christ without forcing anyone to be anything! Don't put us in a box, don't assume the worst, and don't think that a Christian is only out to convert you!

People will run from Christian groups all day, they will turn away and dismiss them because we all know that Christian groups are just out to accomplish what they want, - get as far away as you can.

I'm ready for people to get outraged about something else. Get outraged that there are men out there raping young girls, paying money to do so, and that someone out there is profiting off of this. Get mad that these girls are being charged for prostitution and not looked at as victims of a horrific crime. Get mad that there are so few safe houses to take these women, don't get mad that the safe beds that exist are under a "Christian" roof.

Get angry that people turn a blind eye to this issue. Be mad that these girls are tragically changed forever and will never be the same. Get mad about the injustice, don't get mad about those that offer care.

Surprise

2011-02-21T22:52:00.007-07:00

If you can't view the video above, see it here.

My Shocked Face to the left.

It was a great birthday weekend. Better than I was anticipating in fact, as one of my best friends flew in on Friday to surprise me. The video isn't long, but the shock is genuine. I was really surprised to see her at my front doorstep in Phoenix, instead of in MO where she was supposed to be.

It was a rainy weekend, so our outdoor plans got cancelled, but it was a great birthday nonetheless. The best part? We actually share February 21 as our birthday, so her trip was really for the both of us.

Thank you Brittany for a great surprise! And thank you to my sister Kandyce (the one who opens the door) for cleaning my room before she got here. Law school has taken it's toll on my time to hang things back up in the closet. Well, that's true, but I've never been good at that....

I've never really liked surprises, but maybe they're not so bad after all. I just really don't like the idea of not being "ready" for whatever comes up - but that's the whole point of a surprise, right? You don't have to be, you just enjoy it. So, it was a good lesson for me. It's ok to be surprised, it's ok to not have control, and it's definitely ok to spend your birthday with people you love.

I said goodbye to 25 this year. 26!? That's crazy. And even as much as I can't believe it, my mom can't believe it even more. Her youngest is 26? That makes her old - at least that's what she thinks. But really, I'm gonna go with the wiser argument, it just makes us both wiser, another year of life experience and another year of blessings.

Well, given that I have no choice but to BE 26, I guess I will. I'm excited for another year of new adventures and all that's in store next.

Happy Birthday Brittany! Happy Birthday to me! (And of course Happy Birthday to our dear friend Sara who shares this day too!)

black hole

2011-02-17T16:49:00.002-07:00

That's where I've been recently - the black hole that is law school. It really has been the start of a great, albeit stressful, second semester, and so I've barely had time apart from school.

But, things are going really, really well. We've been studying the whole concept of "taking risks in your faith" in my neighborhood group at church, and it's been a great way to reflect on the last several months of my journey. I completely took a risk in coming to law school, and yet, I've never felt more rewarded.

God has continued to show me that I'm here for the right reasons, and I'm in the right place. The crazy thing is, opportunities keep arising that I never saw coming, couldn't have predicted, and certainly don't deserve. But, God is faithful, and good and he keeps showing me the next plan that He has for me, so I keep walking through the open doors. Once I get through the door, I feel a little out of place, unprepared, definitely like I don't know enough to be there, but grateful to be there nonetheless.

So, I've got a few lighthearted blogs planned for the next few days, it's time for some creative ones, I need a little mental break.

So, stay tuned. The next post is SURE to give you some insight into my creativity as an 8-year-old....

endings and beginnings

2011-01-16T23:32:00.004-07:00

I'm about 36 hours away from starting my 2nd semester of law school, and I'm excited and a little fearful about all this semester holds.

This weekend I had to fly home for a very sudden funeral for one of my closest friend's dad who passed away. All of her our closest friends from high school and college came, and it was so incredibly moving, even for me, to see us all come together at such a time. It was emotional, to say the least, and my friend and her family will be in my prayers for months to come as they deal with this grief.

I came back late last night, and am just now trying to mentally settle in to classes starting. I finally got my grades from last semester, and I completely surprised myself. I knew that I had worked hard, but when you only get one test to determine your grade for the entire course, you will always be asking yourself, "but did I work hard enough?" Well, turns out, I'm going to do ok after all in law school. My final paper for legal writing was the highest score in the class - which I want to say is a big accomplishment for me because my early grades in that class were far from perfect and I really wondered if I was going to get the hang of legal writing or if I was going to have to realize that I might not be great at it. Turns out, with some really hard work, I pulled it off.

I've already done a run down of this semester in my last post, so I won't bore you with that. But, I'm sure I'll have some good updates after we all get back into the swing of things. New people to say "interesting" things in class, new professors, new subjects, and I'm involved in several new volunteer opportunities this semester, so that should also provide some new material.

Great sermon at church today about God stepping in when things are humanly impossible. Loved it. Seen it in my own life. I'm expecting that with my Dad's faith really - things might be humanly impossible for us to try and teach him about Christ, so God's gonna have to do it. But that won't mean we won't stop asking God to do it. In fact - He wants us to.

"What is impossible with men is possible with God." Luke 18:27.

"Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer." Romans 12:12

10 Things I learned in 2010

2011-01-06T19:06:00.003-07:00

My friend and fellow blogger Eric was gracious enough to ask me to write a guest blog on "10 Things I Learned in 2010." Check it out! And thanks Eric for letting me share.

The Help

2011-01-03T23:23:00.005-07:00

Ok, I'm way behind the times getting around to reading this book, but I wanted to say that I finished it over break and I really enjoyed it. It's a look at life in Jackson, Mississippi during the 1960's. Set in the midst of the Civil Right's Movement and the days of Martin Luther King Jr., for me it was hard to believe that all of this was really not that long ago.

The book focuses on the relationship of white families and the black women who work for them. It's it's hopeful, it's sad, discouraging and encouraging both. I really enjoyed it. One of the main characters is a white woman who doesn't follow the discriminatory practices of everyone else in her small-town life. She's brave and feisty, and I'd like to think that if given the opportunity, I myself would stand up against injustice if it's staring me in the face.

The author actually grew up in Jackson, Mississippi during the '60's, so I think it's got a decent factual basis behind it as well. Good read.

Time off

2011-01-01T22:34:00.003-07:00

I actually did it - at least I think I did. I wrapped up finals a few weeks back and I've been on an extended break for the last several weeks. I say I think I completed finals because I don't have my grades yet, so we'll just see about that...

I can't believe my first semester of law school is complete - literally 1/6 of the way through - which is vague and altogether hard to feel in any real way. It was a great start. Interesting, motivating, exciting and affirming, all great qualities when starting a new, somewhat scary venture.

After I wrapped up finals I was fortunate enough to go and visit some of my dearest friends in MO. What a blessing. These are my lifetime friends, the ones who weren't just in my life for a season, but the ones who I'll stay in touch with, well, forever if I can help it.

Then it was off to sunny FL. Yeah, I know, from Phoenix to FL? Rough winter travel. Being home is always a trip, both literally and figuratively. You know, being 25, back in your parents house, and you're on vacation. There is nothing that you're obligated to do, and in this case I didn't have any homework pulling me away, so I think I revert back to being a teenager. I'll admit, I've spent way too many hours watching TV. And honestly, I don't even know what I've been watching. Random things: Caesar the Dog Whisperer, old reruns of Beverly Hills 90210, Top Chef, I mean, really random stuff. Mix in some reading for fun that I've been wanting to do all semester, and somehow three weeks of break have just disappeared.

I still have a few weeks left and in that time I've set my ambitions high: read the Constitution, no, actually READ the Constitution well and have an idea where things are. I sound like a total dork, I'm well aware, but rumor has it that my Constitutional Law professor next semester is brutal. I mean, call on you and belittle you until you cry kind of brutal. As rumor goes, last year on the first day of class he called on someone and stayed on this person the entire time. He concluded class that day with, "Thank you for wasting everyone's time. You answered every question wrong. I'll let you know when I've rescheduled the make-up session for the class you just wasted."

What!? That's crazy. So, in some small attempt, I'm hoping to at least know a few things about the Constitution going in: the Supremacy Clause, the amendments, and whatever tricky thing I think might come up. But it's a double-edged sword really, because if I do get called on and I do know the answer, then he'll be like, "'ok, we've got a know-it-all here," and then try to make me look stupid. So, my sister suggested answering things half right. Ha. We'll see how that goes.

I head back to Phoenix this week, so hopefully I'll get back on a normal sleeping/gym/life schedule instead of vacation mode. But it's been nice being home. Family dynamics are the most interesting kind - you are so linked to these people, and the things that frustrate you about them is made more frustrating by the fact that you have tendencies toward being the very same way, at least that's been my experience.

I'll spare you all the details, but our family overnight trip had some highs and lows, lows made lower when peoples' blood sugar was low and patience was even below that. The high point? Us all ending up in a room on New Year's Eve that sleeps 6, well 4 really, but a forced 6.5 (my dog Graham is the .5) and imitating Bon Qui Qui and Antoine Dodson before trying to fall asleep. Ridiculous, but a really funny memory nonetheless. And, don't judge me for that, it was pretty funny.

So, I'll definitely be ready to head back to classes in a few weeks. It's going to be a CRAZY semester. They've added a class to our schedule, so I'll have 5 classes instead of 4. Constitutional Law, Criminal Law, Property, Administrative Law, and Legal Writing. Don't be impressed by how all that sounds, I'm going to have work REALLY hard to pull all that off. God is good, by His grace, it will be a time-consuming, but sane semester.

I Can't believe how 2011 is already so different from 2010. It really is incredible to see what just a year can bring. I'm thankful for the opportunities I've been given and for God's calling on my life. Happy New Year!

It isn't what you think

2010-12-02T00:24:00.001-07:00

I tried to sleep to fall asleep tonight, and a story I meant to write a month or so ago wouldn't let me fall asleep. I had to get it down first...

There was sugar everywhere. Not straight sugar, but not a single item that didn’t contain way too much of the sweet, teeth-rotting treat. M&M’s, tubs of frosting, sprinkles, candy corn, all spread out on the orange table cloths. Pumpkins to carve in one corner, bright squares on the floor for a cake walk in the other. The girls were brought in, rushing, pushing to get into the room and see all of the decorations and treats. Hippies, gypsies, witches, fairies, mummies each hurrying inside to start grabbing up candy to stash in their orange plastic sacks.

I was seated at the table with most of the good stuff – the candy, frosting and all of the fixings to decorate pretzel rods as “magic” wands. The girls had barely been in the room for a minute when a small group passed by and their eyes lit up at the sight of the frosting jars and candy spread across the table. They quickly grabbed a seat and started smearing frosting all up and down the pretzel.

Naturally, I asked questions to get to know them. What’s your name? How old are you? Who are you dressed as? What’s your character’s name? What grade are you in? The simple stuff.

About 20 minutes later a shy, quiet girl with glasses comes to sit down. We talk, the basic stuff. Not 5 minutes go by and she’s telling me about her passion for drawing and her love for art. She’s telling me that she hopes to go to college, and I am eagerly listening to her young, optimistic dreams of success.

You wouldn’t know that this setting is all painted inside a home for girls who’ve been part of the juvenile court system. You wouldn’t know just by walking in that some of these girls have suffered or witnessed violence at home, some have drug or alcohol problems, some have run away from home, been violent with someone else. You wouldn’t know right away that this was a room of broken teens. You wouldn’t know that these girls could show me the faces of sex trafficking victims in a whole new light.

Another young girl has come to join me and the young artist at this point. We’ll call her Chloe. Her costume isn’t what you’d expect, no princess, no fairy, no hippie. She’s sitting next to me with hair completely tousled and spiked in all the wrong places, fake blood, bruises and scaring all over her arms and face, a fake cut drawn across her neck, and she’s sitting there dressed as a 50’s housewife. A 14-year-old girl that probably knows all too well but a real one looks like, is sitting next to me dressed for Halloween as a battered wife. Sick.

So we get to talking and Chloe tells me about how she ran away recently with some other girls. She tells me that they were gone for about 3 days. Where did they go? Well, they met a guy in a parking lot, and he took them in. Then what? They did some stuff. Then they traveled to a nearby town, met some more people there, and in the end, the girls decided to come back. Well, 2 of the girls are now in jail. They already had a record, so running away was 1 strike too many.

The artist chimes in at this point and says that some other girls had run away recently too. She says they left in t-shirts and jeans and they came back in short skirts and heels. What does that mean? They met a pimp. He used them for a few days, one of the girls was raped, and they decided to come back.

You don’t expect the victims and targets of sex trafficking to be sitting next to you, dressed as a battered wife, or casually smearing icing on a pretzel. It isn’t what you think. It isn’t what you expect. And it certainly isn’t what you want to anticipate.

The face of human trafficking here domestically isn’t hidden away. It isn’t only in poor areas, it isn’t only happening to those who live on the street. When 14-year-old girls are meeting guys in parking lots that are willing to take them wherever they want to go if the girls are willing to “do some stuff” you can’t sit idly by. Yes, this isn’t a new problem, this isn’t a new tragic story, but it’s a real one, and it was looking me in the face. I’m staring at girls targeted by the very crime I came to law school to fight.

I’ve signed up to be a mentor for one of these young girls, I don’t know which one yet. I have no doubt that it won’t all be happy times with my sweet, young mentee. She’s going to be dealing with stuff. Real stuff. Stuff that I’ve read about, seen on TV, and have never experienced myself. I’ve been blessed. My life never looked like this, but these girls can know that their life won’t always look like this either.

MIA at the end of the semester

2010-11-30T12:09:00.010-07:00

I've been off of the blogging track for a few weeks now as the semester's end is actually, unbelievably, finally, here. We've had a lot of visitors in and out these past few weeks. My oldest sister came for Kandyce's birthday along with a few of Kandyce's friends, and my parents came for Thanksgiving. So, I've been busy studying in advance to prepare for guests and then working like crazy after they leave.

Then, of course, my immune system finally caught up with me and I got sick this weekend right before my parent's left. Nothing too serious, just a cold and some achiness, but enough to keep me in bed for a few days. It wasn't great to lose that time studying, but I'm so incredibly grateful that it wasn't next week: finals week.

Next week!? What!? Crazy! This is the week I've been anticipating since applying to law school: intense, 4-hour, written exams that allow you to apply everything you know to a series of questions. The real trick? This test is your grade for the class, that's it. No other assignments, no mid-term, the end. Scary, right? I know.

But, here's how I feel about it. I definitely know something. I didn't miss a single class all semester. I read everything I was supposed to, when I was supposed to. I mostly paid full attention in class, (there were a few rough days every now and then). I think I'm very well prepared, at this point. The next week is dedicated to what law school hypes up as "outlining." Basically, condensing 80-90 pages of notes from the semester for each class into a reasonable 10-20 that will allow you to know what you need to know and be able to recall the rest from somewhere within the stores of your memory bank.

How do I know how to do this? I don't, that's the easy answer. You figure it out?. You take advice from 2L's and 3L's. You pray for clarity and focus. Well, I've done all of the above, so I think I'm on the right track.

I'll definitely be posting after exams to reflect on the semester, the good, the bad and the future. After finals I'll be heading back to Joplin to see some of my dearest friends in the world. I see this huge, bright, warm light at the end of my bleak, test-taking tunnel. I'm really excited!

Here's a few photos of our recent visitors and adventures....

True Arizona

2010-11-13T15:27:00.003-07:00

Isn't this the classic Arizona view? Finally, experiencing the real desert out here. Graham loves it. He wasn't too close to the cactus pricklies, don't worry.

balancing act

2010-10-31T23:23:00.002-07:00

I went to the Christian Legal Society meeting this past week, and they had a guest speaker that shared a really thought-provoking message.

I'll admit it: there is a lot of mystery and intrigue about the legal profession - even to someone who's actually in law school. There's this general air of a very specific, learned skill that goes along with lawyering - a specialized knowledge that is supposedly not understood by those outside the profession.

Well, for me there's even greater mystery to the concept of a "Christian lawyer." I'm really not out to seek that title. Wait for explanation, please. There are lots of people out there who profess to run Christian law firms, who practice as Christian lawyers - but what does this mean? You hang a Jesus fish on the sign and call it good? You won't help someone file for divorce? You won't overcharge, overbill or rip someone off?

I want to be a lawyer because that's what God has called me to, at least for now. That is just the skill set I'll need to do certain work for His Kingdom. So, for me, being a Christian lawyer just means using those skills, in that profession, for His work. But what does this look like in a world that doesn't understand a lawyer who has ethics, morals, beliefs,and answers to someone, other than their employers, for their actions?

We were directed to Micah 6:8, "...And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. A lot of churches are using this scripture to define their missional actions. But for me, this is the very essence of the delicate balancing act that a Christian, who is in the profession of legal work, must endeavor. How do we walk the line between justice and mercy? When does justice prevail, and when does justice get aside so that mercy may cover? As our speaker pointed out, Jesus' very act of dying on the cross set aside justice - our payment for our sins - so that mercy could prevail.

Looking at Jeremiah 9:23-24, "This is what the Lord says: 'Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,' declares the Lord."

The Lord delights in kindness, justice and righteousness. How do you show all three? Can they be shown together? Are there times that kindness and righteousness are more important than justice? I think the answer is yes. We cannot pursue all wrongs in this world and declare it "pursuit of justice." There are definitely injustices that God calls us to respond to. Caring for the poor, the sick, the weak, the widows and orphans. So, in a world where everyone's wrong means someone else is to blame - how do we seek justice only when God calls for it?

To keep a balance in this broken, fallen system, a Christian practicing law has to have the mind of Christ, in order to keep perspective. Matthew 6:33 says, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

So, maybe we overcomplicate everything. Maybe it's not mysterious, maybe it's not that hard to figure out how to practice law and follow Christ. Seek first His Kingdom and HIs righteousness. Everything else falls in to place from there.

Surprise

2010-10-25T15:42:00.003-07:00

This weekend was completely exhausting, but it was so incredibly worth it.

For the past 2-3 months my sisters and I have been planning a surprise birthday party for my parents. This was a big birthday, a huge milestone, if you know what I mean. Coupled with that (no pun intended), this was also their 39th wedding anniversary. So, we've moved a lot growing up - leaving a string of friends and family all over the country, so inviting people to fly to FL was not only a big request, but a bit of a challenge.

Everyone really came through. It was incredible really. I mean, there were close to 65 people there. My dad's two brothers and their wives, and one of his cousins flew in from Honduras. Another of my dad's cousin came from San Diego came, one of his closest friends flew in from Chile, a friend drove down from Atlanta, and his motorcycle group showed up in full force. My mom's sister came from California, one of our cousins flew in from Michigan, and another from Belgium! I mean, people really came from all over to get there. And of course my sister and I flew in from Phoenix, but that's not nearly as impressive.

But more than anything, the endless string of embellishments and stretching of the truth that has taken place over these last few months has been the hard part. About a month or so ago one of my sisters, who lives in FL, told my parents that she wanted to reserve Oct. 23 to take them out to dinner and a comedy show. So, for a while now my Dad was anticipating being dragged out to hear some comemdiean he probably wouldn't enjoy. :) Ha!

So, we've been planning this for a while, keeping it a secret, and really - no information got out. That is, until the day of the party. The night before the party my sisters and I went out to dinner with my Dad's family. We were all secretly in town, without my parent's knowing. My sister and I even got a call from my mom during dinner, so we were conveniently "enjoying frozen yogurt in Phoenix." She bought it. We laid low, enjoyed time with family and went to bed to get ready for the party the next day.

Well, Saturday, the day of the party, was finally here. We were excited, anxious and ready to see our parents surprised faces. But then, we get a text message from one of our cousins. No way. NO WAY! This isn't possible.

Text reads: "Guess who is also at IHOP in Hollywood Beach?" My dad ran into one of his brothers and his family at an IHOP. WHAT!!?? My dad's brother secretly flew all the way here from Honduras, and of the hundreds of restaurants in South Florida they both choose the same IHOP!?? Ridiculous was the only word we could come up with.

Well, they passed it off as my cousins were on fall break, so my dad's brother was here visiting my cousins (his daughters). And somehow, my Dad bought this. Brothers are weird. Only brothers would think, "well, it's not that weird that my brother, who NEVER comes to the states came without telling me." They convince my Dad not to tell my mom because they want to "surprise" her later. Well, he complies and spends the day making up weird excuses to my mom about going to gun shows and other random errands while really, he's spending the day with his brother.

Meanwhile, my Mom is really unsettled by the fact that my Dad is acting so weird, and going to a gun show, and being altogether vague. What a mess.

And we're mad all day because we think my Dad's got it figured out. Well, not so.

Long story short, they get to the house where the party was, they open the door and they were seriously shocked. I mean, I don't think my mom breathed again for at least 5 minutes. When someone hands her a bottle of water, she doesn't drink it, she pours it on herself, I mean this was genuine shock.

My parents were really touched. My Dad says to us, "I mean, you guys really did a lot. Your mother deserves this, but not me." Classic Dad line.

I'm just so glad it all worked out. It's pretty amazing that it all came together. Really my sister Kristan in FL did a huge portion of the work. She was the only one physically there that could be buying and making the decorations, she contacted most of the guests, and she did it all without consulting my Mom for advice - amazing.

So, Happy Birthday Mom and Dad - we love you.

One-liners and Heros

2010-10-17T23:02:00.004-07:00

We've been doing a "Heros" series at church these last several months, and it's really been a great lesson series. My sister and I recently started teaching Kindergarten/First Grade on Sunday mornings, so we teach at the early service and then attend the later service.

Every week we teach the condensed, kid-friendly, version of the Bible story to the kids and then head over to hear the "grownup" version. It has been really cool to see how breaking these stories down to their most basic truth for these kids can be powerful even for us "grownups."

This morning we talked about Daniel. He refuses to worship anyone but God because he loves Him, he's thrown into a den of lions, he prays to God, he isn't scared, God protects him, and the King tells everyone to worship Daniel's God.

"So, why is Daniel our hero today."

Simple. "Because he prayed to God and followed God no matter what."

You hear these answers from the mouths of 5-year-olds and they sound so obvious and so wise. You're scared, you're afraid, worried? Pray to God. That makes you a hero.

So they say these incredibly simple and powerful things - but obviously, they're kids, they say funny stuff too.

Q; "Can you pray to God for anything?"
A: "Yes!!!"
Q: "What kinds of things can you pray to God for?"
A: "Like if you need a lightbulb!"

Q; "Daniel was thrown in with lions! Have you guys ever seen a lion?"
A: "Yeah, I sleep with one."
Q: "You sleep with a lion?"
A: "Yeah, like 4 of them."

Q: "Is there anything or anyone in your family we can pray for?"
A: "Yeah, you can pray for my gramma, she's an old lady."

It's been really fun getting to work with this age group. Obviously, it's pretty neat that my sister and I are able to do this together. And in some weird way, I'm finally fulfilling my elementary school dreams of being a teacher. Really, I just wanted to get paid to read story books aloud and "boss" people around. You know, I really wasn't asking much.

But, after finishing the 10-week series today, I've decided that I have a tie for my two favorite heros. And actually, this was really hard to decide. But Joseph and Esther are my favorites. Yeah, it's great that Esther was a woman, and the only one in the series, but really, she's a hero, there's no question. She wasn't afraid to die for her faith, she didn't back down by protocol or practice, and she saved her people. She's bold, gutsy, faithful and fearless. Who wouldn't want to be described like that?

Now Joseph, he's the very picture of faithfulness, forgiveness, patience and grace. I love his story. It's tragically sad and redeeming enough to bring me to tears. I mean, to be sold by your brothers and distanced from your family for all those years. And then to be imprisoned for a crime you didn't commit and punished for fleeing from sin. But Joseph didn't demand "fairness" from God. He was steadfast and faithful. He was trusting and patient in God's timing and purpose. We all need these attributes in our walk.

I am thankful for these messages and appreciative of the insights of true, childlike faith.

And here's a few things you maybe didn't know that a 5-year-old does:

1. Submarines can stay underwater for up to 99 days. Or 120. But no other number.
2. Silly Bands are awesome, and expensive, they cost $15 at Target. (and if you don't know what a silly band is, you are so out of the loop)
3. Lion Sharks eat submarines.
4. If you're going to a pumpkin patch, you need glitter in your hair.
5. Being the line leader is the ULTIMATE privilege, with door holder as a close second.
6. A good excuse? You're too full to clean your desk. (I know, don't try to make sense of this one. Basically, I interpret this to mean, you're so full that you can't move, so obviously, you can't clean your desk.)

I'll be keeping an ear out for other pearls of wisdom...

Outside the classroom

2010-10-07T12:56:00.005-07:00

Keeping up with this blog is more important than ever - I can't forget how to not write like a lawyer! We are in these writing classes, and the rules are so strict and so rigid. I mean, it isn't a surprise, but it's still kind of sad to be creating this writing that is completely void of imagination. I guess the truly creative part comes in your arguments, but even those have to be logical and rational.

So, I went to a free legal clinic last night, one offered by a local hospital to those who could really use some free legal advice or counsel on an issue. We were trained to fill out an intake form in order to gather some background information about the clients. In this, we're really there to maybe screen for issues of domestic violence and see if there is something more serious going on than just what they came in for.

I met with a very young girl who has a few kids and a newborn baby and she was concerned about a threat from her boyfriend to potentially take their newborn girl away. She was scared, she didn't really know what to do and she wanted some advice about what to do about this threat.

Well, truth is, this isn't a legal thing, yet. She needs to go see another free legal service (that we recommended her to) to potentially talk about cutting off his parental rights if this is a real and dangerous threat. Obviously, it's complicated, and let me just say this isn't what we're learning in the classroom.

I'm not saying that hand-on experience does away with the need for what we're doing in class - obviously not. But it really helps put things in perspective to see how someone in this situation would feel confused, would not know what to do, and would be eager to seek help form someone who professes to have some answers.

I'm really thankful I got to volunteer there yesterday. I can already see a lot of my time being spent there over the next few years.

Going to an immigration conference on Friday. For those of you that haven't heard - AZ is in quite a mess when it comes to immigration. The conference tomorrow will look at the States' roles in this immigration debate. Should be interesting...

a reality

2010-10-02T13:26:00.004-07:00

We moved several times growing up. From CA to GA. From GA to TX. From TX back to CA. From CA to FL. Then I moved away to go to college, went out of state for two internships, then moved to MO for a job, then moved here to AZ for law school. Thus you can see how seasons in my life have always been marked by about 4 year increments, on average.

So, I'm here in AZ now, in law school, and friends that I have all over the country, people I know from other places I've lived will all ask me, "So, do you like it there? Do you like school?" The easy and truthful answer is yes. The more complicated answer is yes, but it's more complex than that.

As you grow up, of course your perspective on life changes - duh. But when you experience moments where you realize that again your perspective has shifted, it doesn't seem as obvious as transition. So, yes I like it here, and I'm exactly where God wants me, but I do miss my friends in other places. I am sad when I hear of huge, life-changing things (marriage, engagements, babies, just kids growing up in general) and know that I'm not there to be a part of any of it. I'm sad I'm not there to experience it with them; congratulate someone in person, attend the party, hold their new baby, all of the stuff that comes when you do life with friends that you love.

My friend in FL is having her first baby in about a week or so, and here I am all the way in AZ with no feasible way to get to her anytime soon to hold her baby girl and tell my friend how precious she is. I was in her wedding a few years back, and it just seems obvious that I would get to be there for this too. She's the first of my college friends to have a baby, it just seems like it should be easier to get there.

I know, these are realities that we all face, but they definitely bring moments where it's harder than others to feel so far away from so many friends. I'm sure I'll make some of these friends in AZ, but it doesn't replace all of the other ones that I've moved away from at some point.

So, it feels like the start of what could be another 3-4 year season. Law school is 3 years, and who knows what happens after that. Could be another move, could be staying here, who knows? God is moving and orchestrating things here for me in a huge way - and I'm just blessed to be a part of it. But God is moving in all of our lives, and sometimes I'd just like it to be a little easier to be there to see it.

posting from class..

2010-09-29T14:42:00.002-07:00

We're on our 5 minute break just to be clear - I'm not a bad student doing this in class. We just went over our first sample exam question - whoa. You know when you feel like your brain exploded? Yeah, that just happened.

So here's the deal: in law school, exams are all you have. It's the only thing that determines your grade, it's the only benchmark of your progress. You have to wait all semester to find out if you know anything at all. And if you do know something, can you articulate it?

I didn't do all that bad on this first sample answer. However, this was an exam answer that only asked us to write about one topic. A REAL exam answer will incorporate a lot of different topics from all throughout the semester. That's when the brain explosion happened.

A lot of people get through law school, every year. So, I have to think that with a lot of prayer and a lot of hard work I will too...right?

I'm not one to get stressed out too easily. So, for now, I'll enjoy that it's not yet officially October and that December still seems a long way off.

My professor's exact words: "Don't freak out. It's going to be ok." Good advice.

something new, everyday

2010-09-27T09:42:00.003-07:00

I was walking into school this morning and I saw a kid lighting his cigarette from atop his skateboard, while skating down the bike lane on a crowded campus street. Did you know this was possible!? I for sure did not. For one, I don't smoke, so I've never thought about all of the places it would be difficult or challenging to light a cigarette from. More importantly, I don't skateboard - which seems to be quite a popular way to get around here at ASU. I'm not going to try skateboarding anytime soon either, my track record doesn't look so good as of late for coordination.

My sister and I went hiking on Saturday on the Piestewa Peak Summit Trail and we got all the way to the top, which I consider to be the challenging part (a 1.2 mile trail that climbs over 1200 feet in elevation), and what do you know...I trip on the journey back down. So, we're walking on a flat part of the climb back down, but as you can imagine on a desert peak, there's plenty of loose rocks and gravel. I trip on who knows what, go flying forward, and catch myself by skidding on one hand and one knee. Needless to say, both are scraped up pretty good. The surprising part was when I woke up yesterday to find a decent-sized bruise on my hip and a bruise forming on my shoulder. Some klutz!

Well, nothing too serious, I can still read and I can still type - so basically I can still get through school. I'm going to a meeting today to begin discussions on a human trafficking conference we'll be holding at the law school here in March. There's a few of us that got chosen for the planning committee. I'm excited and prayerful that this will be an incredible opportunity and that great discussion and awareness will come out of this conference.

But in the meantime, I'll be sure to watch out for smoking skateboarders around campus, beware of loose rocks and continue working hard! Oh, and no signs of cooler weather yet..the high was 109 yesterday.

(By the way, this is a picture of Piestewa Peak, but that is not my sister and me sitting at the top!)

my dog ate my homework..or something like that

2010-09-09T20:34:00.003-07:00

Going into the financial aid office yesterday to tell them about a letter they had sent me going "missing" was, well, a good story, I guess.

I'm living with my sister now, and sisters, in case you didn't know, are a different kind of roommate. That is, they have special privileges that other roommates or friends wouldn't. You can say things you don't mean to each other, and forget about them later. You can take things without asking, get in trouble for it, but move on by the end of the night. Well, a privilege I didn't actually expect was: they can get your mail...and open it?

Our mailbox is on the way out of the complex, so naturally as my sister was walking to the Lightrail yesterday, she stopped to grab the mail. Included in the day's delivery was a letter to me from the financial aid office. She saw that it was from financial aid, knew I had been waiting to hear from them and thus she so graciously opened it for me. Long story short, the letter was confirming an adjustment to my loan, translation: more money.

Well, opening mail is dangerous, and she got a massive paper cut (this is hearsay, I didn't actually see it). So, the way SHE tells the story, her finger is "gushing blood" (I bet) and she's bleeding all over the place, she's on her way downtown and has nothing to clean up her finger. So, she uses my envelope. But, she assures me, she secured the letter first.

Yeah right. She tosses the bloody envelope (literally bloody, this isn't British slang) before getting on the Lightrail. She then searches frantically through her backpack for the infamous letter - no such luck, she tossed it.

So, two hours later, I go into the financial aid office to say what? "Uh, my sister opened my mail, got a really bad paper cut, so bad that she had no choice but to use the letter as a bandage. After that, she accidentally threw it into a trashcan downtown...so, can I do anything without that letter?"

It's a happy ending, don't worry. The financial aid advisor and I shared a good laugh over the ridiculousness of the situation (and no doubt the believability of my story). He typed a bunch of things on the computer, had me sign something and it's as if the letter never even mattered. Well, it mattered to my sister who's got the cut to prove it.

using the dictionary

2010-09-08T21:13:00.002-07:00

Just before I moved to AZ, while packing up all kinds of things I didn't know I had, I came across a dictionary. Maybe you don't remember what this looks like: a dictionary is a big book, easily 4-5 inches thick, lots of pages, small print, intimidating to say the least. I hadn't use this one single time during my 4 years in Missouri - didn't even remember I had it, to be honest. So, did it make it onto the moving truck? No, it made it's way to a donation place that rhymes with hood-pill (clever, I know).

Well, it's about a month and a few weeks later, and I need that dictionary! Law school is teaching me how many words I thought I knew, but in the legal context - I don't. Take for example a word in my reading today: "hostile." I totally thought I knew what this word meant. You don't want someone to get hostile with you, I've experienced hostile customer service (thank you South Florida), hostile driving, hostility in a meeting, you know, furious, aggravated, threatening action. Well, this isn't always what it means.

So, I'm having a conversation with a friend of mine today and he warns me about this word "hostile." He says I should read the definitions in the back of the case before I read the rest of it because, "hostile doesn't mean hostile." Oh, that makes perfect sense. Not.

Needless to say, he was right, hostile didn't mean at all what I thought. Hostile in this sense describes someone's possession of land actually owned by someone else. If someone is hostile in their possession they intend to exclude outsiders and treat the land as if its their own. You can kind of see the hostile connection that we all would normally understand.

Forget the "word-a-day" concept, I'm in the 4 to 5 words-a-day range. Does that make me super smart? No, just very aware of all the words I don't know.

Anyway, just thoughts for the day. I so should be reading right now and not writing this, but it was a nice mental break....

roommate reunion

2010-09-03T11:27:00.002-07:00

So my former roommate (that sounds so formal!) Brittany is here for labor day weekend...a welcome and exciting break from studying! But first, I have to go to Civil Procedures today, finish up some reading for Contracts and make sure I'm ahead for next week since we'll be pretty busy this weekend.

So, how are things coming on the studying front? Well, I'm in the law library right now posting this, so.....great? What's on our agenda for the weekend? Any combination of good food, entertainment (baseball game, movie) mixed in with some physical activity (hiking, nap, and yes, napping counts) and hopefully some good useless TV time.

The temperature is 110, so she'll get the full Phoenix effect. We had breakfast this morning at the famous "Matt's Big Breakfast" in downtown Phoenix: the breakfast is indeed big and the building is indeed small, really small, like for Keebler elves small. But regardless, it was really good and a great way to start the day of school!

Ok, I have to get to work, or else I'm just wasting time here at the library looking very UNstudious as my textbook isn't even open and people can CLEARLY see I'm not taking notes...

Happy long weekend!

dog parks

2010-08-28T11:02:00.003-07:00

Ok, so, I've had to do a decent amount of adjusting to my new surroundings: change of scenery, change of roommate, change of employment (employed to unemployed), etc. But, to be honest, my dog Graham has had to make some big adjustments too.

Gone are the days of living in a small town apartment - Graham is a city dog now. He lives in a townhouse in downtown Phoenix, he gets to go for walks downtown, he gets to relieve himself on astroturf (there's not a ton of real grass in Phoenix), and he gets to meet some new doggie friends. Let's just say that Graham is a bit antisocial. I really don't think he wants to be, but he's truly terrified of other dogs. Yes, he's 7 pounds so every other dog looks huge and scary, but even ones that are his size are too much for him to handle. He barks, he growls, he cowers and ultimately just grates on your hearing because his bark is high pitched and LOUD.

My sister has a friend here who has a dog named Osa. (Hopefully she won't mind me referring to her dog by name.) Osa is a great dog. She's about 14 pounds, mild mannered and the perfect playmate for Graham because she was patient. It took about 3-4 visits and 4 days of constant time together for Graham to get on board with this whole "puppy pal" thing. Now, he's genuinely excited to see Osa, which is leaps and bounds from where he first started, cowering down, hiding behind my legs to just get away from that other little dog.

Well, probably a bit prematurely, I wanted to take Graham to a dog park so he could see what he's been missing out on. I mean, you see all these people on TV who take their dogs to dog parks and the dogs love it. They get to run around with other dogs, drink from a communal pool of nasty water, sniff all sorts of..well, you know what dogs sniff...and just love life as a dog. So I thought, Graham needs that, he would love that!

Not the case. I think dog parks are Graham's worst nightmare. There's no real place to hide, there are dogs everywhere who want to play and sniff and walk all over Graham's "territory." (Which, Graham's territory basically translates to any area that Graham is standing in, or wants the option to stand in at some point in the future - he really doesn't ask much.)

Graham's been to the dog park twice now and neither were great experiences. The first time he went, he did okay, the second time, he became "that dog." The one that other owners tell their dog to stay away from. Osa was there too, and I was hoping she might be a good example, which she was, but I guess she can't be an example if Graham's not paying attention.

So, you'll see on this video that Graham loves Osa at this point, but that's about it. I haven't taken video footage of Graham barking at every other dog, cause who wants to relive that?

I think Graham will get there, he just needs some time to adjust...or he needs anxiety meds, which who wants to take their dog to a shrink? Pathetic.

1st days of law school

2010-08-20T21:51:00.003-07:00

I walk into my Contracts class and the room is split 4 rows on each side, facing the center of the room. So its 4 rows auditorium-style on each half of the room. Now - choose a seat. This is no easy task. Where I sit today is the seat I will sit in and potentially be called upon all semester.

Dang. My friend is already seated in the front row. Ok, I want to sit next to her because she's one of my only new friends, but the front row? Really? You know what, I'm in law school, here to learn and be challenged, I might as well be up to the task - I take the seat next to her in the front row.

The room fills up, students filing in, and the classroom is freaskishly quiet at this point. We have about 60 people in our class and the room is way too quiet for that many twenty-somethings. People are nervous. Everyone pulls out their laptop and either pretends to be busy, or frantically continues to read through their notes. I have to admit though, I wasn't really nervous. I had done the reading, I had made pretty thorough notes and I actually felt like I could have an intelligent conversation about the case we read.

Scenario: two guys back in the 1920's made an agreement in a bar for one guy to sell his farm to the other. There was some drinking involved, some bantering, a signed agreement, and what do you know? Apparently one of the guys thought the whole thing was a joke and the other guy believed him and is now suing for his rightful ownership of the farm that was signed over to him.

Interesting case, lots of fun things to discuss. Did alcohol play a role? Does it matter that one of the guys was "joking?" Would a "reasonable person" have thought that he was joking? The list goes on. It was a lively class discussion. There were a few "cold calls" (people called on at the random will of the professor) but nothing too scary for our first class.

Today I had my civil procedures class taught by the Dean of the law school. It was honestly a really engaging class. Fast-paced enough to be interesting throughout and the discussion was really good. This class is going to push us to question why we follow the procedures we do. Why are things settled the way they are, why not just flip a coin?

It's crazy to realize how much we don't question, how much we take for granted and how many things we want to say are the way they are just "because."

I'm glad I'm here. I am so excited to see what God is going to teach me through all of this. I am so thankful for this opportunity. Not everyone who wants one gets a chance to do this, and I won't take that for granted. Higher education is a privilege (like a lawyer would ask, but should it be a right?) because for some it isn't even feasible.

Monday? Torts! A little law education: torts - "whether one whose actions harm another should be required to pay compensation for the harm done." - Tort Law and Alternativess, 8th Edition, Franklin, Rabin, Green

orientation and small talk

2010-08-16T20:32:00.002-07:00

I had my first day of orientation today, which I guess means: I'm officially in law school. It was a really good day. We had a welcome from the Dean, an introduction on how to brief a case, a mock class, we met all of the students in our writing section (a small class of about 15-20 students) and then filled in the rest with taking our first professional picture and small talk...in large quantities.

The mock class was really interesting. It was less nerve wracking because the professor wasn't using the socratic method by calling on us at random - they save that for our real classes. Today however, he allowed people to raise their hands and volunteer their answers, the good old fashioned way. We studied an actual case ruled on by the Supreme Court last year. The case breaks down to a cop having reasonable suspicion to search a motorhome without a warrant - he saw a kid leave the motorhome with drugs - thus, reasonable suspicion.

The question came in as to wether or not the motorhome owners 4th amendment rights were violated: the amendment that protects him against illegal search and seizure. Well, the ruling was basically that because it was a motorhome, yes a "home" but readily mobile, he didn't have the same privacy expectations that he would have had it been an actual house, not on wheels.

Hope that wasn't too lofty to read - it was really fun to participate in a dialogue of this case. The interesting questions came in when we started talking about someone living in a car with no wheels - that is, the car is their residence, and it's not "readily mobile," so then do they have the same protections as someone who lives in a house? It's complicated and vague - and interesting nonetheless.

They really stressed the point that we won't be memorizing laws - that isn't what law school is about. Yes, we'll learn about laws, but really we'll be learning how to think about how the laws are applied, how to think about past cases, past decisions, analyze them.

In between all of this I had the chance to meet several of my classmates. There's a wide spectrum of interests, personalities and communities represented. We're all still in that stage where we're getting to know each other, so we all have to walk up awkwardly, introduce ourselves go over "where are you from?" "where did you go to undergrad?" "where are you living?" etc. It gets old for sure, but it's still interesting to meet people. There's only 180 of us that got in - and I guess that means we all really wanted to be here, the cost alone should tell you that we're serious!

So, good first day. Tomorrow: guest speakers, introduction to the legal profession, and...you guessed it...small talk.

Settling In

2010-08-05T22:23:00.002-07:00

Ok, so this post might sound like I'm complaining about my new and exciting (ha!) life in Phoenix, but I'm not making this stuff up - everything is a process in the city!!

So, my moving truck arrived on Monday and we got all of my stuff moved in and up a flight of stairs and it was only 106 degrees - not bad since today was 111! Well, the air conditioner in the townhouse needed to be fixed in the midst of it all, so dodge the bucket catching the dripping water, the A/C repairman on the ladder and the move-in was basically easy!

Tuesday was mostly unpack everything you can all day, second guess yourself on why you own it in the first place and decide if you're even going to have time to use it over the next 3 years - needless to say, my box of donations got heavier as the day went on. Then I made a journey to go get my insurance card, I say journey because what might have been a 30-40 minute trip became an hour and a half as I headed east and not west and drove to the complete opposite side of the city that I needed to be in. No, I didn't use my GPS - but I did glance at a map on my phone, and let's just say that everything looks close on a small scale phone map :) Lesson learned. (And as a side note, there is much to be appreciated about living in a small town sometimes, I get it now.)

Wednesday was another adventure. I headed off to the DMV (I don't think anyone perks up at the mention of this place) to get my AZ license and register my car. First I drive to the closest Phoenix location and I am literally circling the block for 10-15 minutes trying to figure out how hidden this building can be. So, I look up the phone number for this location and it re-reroutes to a main DMV office. So I ask the woman what the nearest cross streets are for the Phoenix location and she says, "28th and Washington." That's exactly where I am, so I tell her that and say, "Well, is the building not marked?" And she says, "No, that location isn't even open anymore."
What!!?? Why did you just tell me the cross streets to a location that no longer exists!!?? Ah, go figure. So, she tells me to try the Tempe location, I figure out where it is, spend another 30 minutes getting there and trying to find the building, buried behind a bunch of construction and unmarked buildings. I walk in the door, glad at last to have finally made it and..."the computers are down, but they might be up later if you want to sit for a few hours and wait," unnamed DMV information-counter lady said. Forget it.

The rest of the day was filled with more failed attempts at accomplishments. Wednesday - I'm writing that day off.

Thursday - today - was so much more successful. I got my driver's license, my student ID, didn't get lost and finished unpacking. Well done.

Friday - T.B.D.

I already have homework, not a joke. I have to read a book before class, and start thinking about a school's honor code system. My civil procedures professor has challenged us to consider an academic honor code to get us thinking about the process of law. What rights does a student have if they're accused of cheating? What rights would you want to have as a student? What protocol should be followed? Jury of your peers? Witnesses? Etc. We're going to talk about it on the first day of class - so you know I have to at least have an opinion prepared.

So, frustrations and the occasional setback aside, things are coming right along. Moving is expensive, and exhausting, but still exciting.

call it what you will

2010-07-14T22:37:00.002-07:00

So, I had a "see you later" dinner tonight with some of my closest friends here in Joplin, and it was really special. I've moved several times in my life - but each time it's been for a different reason (obviously) which makes the goodbye part different too.

So, I decided tonight was a "see you later" occasion because I deeply love these women and my friendship with them. To be so loved and so blessed by Godly, Christian women is truly an honor. I was just humbled by their generosity and deeply changed and moved by their friendship. I don't doubt for a second the seamless way that God brings certain people into our lives for certain seasons. I have lived it time and again, and my years spent here in Missouri are no exception.

Do you know how incredible it is to share your life with a circle of friends that is endlessly supportive? I mean, when I really step back and think about it - how blessed am I that I was able to share this vision, this plan for my future with each of my friends and have each one of them respond supportively, with deep wells of encouragement about what I wanted to do? How rare is it that you would have a plan to radically change the course of your life, to accept a pile of student loans, to step out completely in faith that this is what God has called you to and have not a single friend cast doubt or concern about your plan?

I know, I know, what is the very definition of a friend but someone who supports and encourages you, but we are all still human, and fallen, and doubt or concern could have been shared, but it wasn't.

I have about 2 weeks left here, time that will pass all too quickly. Aside from all the packing I haven't done and the things that are still awaiting my attention at work, I still plan to take it all in. Thank you dear friends for everything - tonight and, well, in life in general.

revolving doors

2010-07-03T16:07:00.003-07:00

I am driving (riding, don't worry) home from my last MOVE conference of the summer, and I am in awe of God's faithfulness. As I get ready to wrap up my time at CIY and begin this next adventure, I have decided that I could best compare all of this to a revolving door.

Spending time with youth ministers and youth workers these past few weeks, watching students make bold decisions to become Kingdom workers, hearing of those overseas and faraway that are living for the sake of God's Kingdom - all of these things help me keep it all in perspective: I am not closing any doors, nor is God in this case, to open others. I am being moved through a revolving door in His Kingdom alongside my fellow workers, and new outlets are simply being opened to me.

Since my acceptance at Arizona State, God has continued to reveal assurances to me - outlets if you will - that I will be able to go through. In such a short time, I have already been offered a board member position for the human trafficking student organization at the law school. I have already learned of a safe house in Arizona started by a group of Christians who want to provide aftercare for those rescued from sex trafficking. I have already been connected with the student leaders in the law school who are also passionate about this topic. I can't say any of these things to brag or boast - I didn't orchestrate a single one of them.

You can experience the "sweet spot" of your faith in times and seasons like these: times where you are fully open, fully committed to Christ and not the plans of your own creation. At these times I can truly live out life in the Spirit. As Paul writes in Romans 8:26-27 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."

How incredible? How powerful? I may not know what to pray for - but the Spirit intercedes on my behalf.

I have about three weeks left before all of this moving talk becomes a reality. I am excited, joyful at the anticipation of what lies ahead. I am sad to say goodbye to my Joplin family; they have been my community for the last 4 years. But I don't see it as a door closing. I don't at all. The door will swing 'round again. I know we will all continue to labor together for the sake of the Gospel.

thought for the day

2010-06-27T19:40:00.002-07:00

We're about to start our next MOVE conference here in Tennessee, and I'm hoping to get some rest tonight. We're expecting a full group this week, and tomorrow starts the excitement.

It is my last week traveling this summer, and I'm not sure it all feels momentous yet. I am waiting for some surreal moment where I realize that this is my last week of MOVE, at least for a while. Then, there will be a lot of sad, grieving emotions to follow. This has been my life for the last 4 summers and I will for sure miss it.

I was reading through 1 John tonight and came across a passage I'd like to to remember in my days ahead as I journey into this next chapter that God has laid out for me:

1 John 2:17 "The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever." I hope to always seek God's will, to always put His plan before mine and to yield to Him at every opportunity.

Praying for a great week...oh yeah, and energy!

in Tennessee

2010-06-20T19:06:00.003-07:00

I just arrived here in Tennessee for another week of MOVE, and we stand out pretty obviously around here because I've been asked 3 times in 24 hours where I'm from. I guess because I don't have an accent, or apparently I just look that different - I'm clearly not from east Tennessee.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow, welcoming another 700 or so to our next week of the summer. It's already been pretty awesome to watch God at work in the student's lives. We had a girl last week that was dealing with sexual abuse at home, and she finally was able to tell someone about it. God shines light in dark places and helps heal brokenness - she still has a lot to go through and a lot of healing to endure, but already she has asked to be baptized. God is so good. For her to have come through a situation like that and come out ready to accept her Savior, ready to be made new in His Spirit, is so encouraging and so incredible to witness.

We're handing out our Kingdom worker challenge cards again this year, where we are asking students to participate in a great act for the sake of God's kingdom. I talked to a youth minister who said that he had two girls that had been praying to receive a very specific challenge - one wanted to raise money for an organization that we partner with called ActiveWater, and another wanted to get involved with children's ministry and was hoping that she might get a card about that.

Well, low and behold - they both got the cards they wanted. That's the Holy Spirit for sure. It is funny though, because neither of them needed the card. They both had the desire in their hearts to do work for the Kingdom, but I guess each of them wanted affirmation that this is what they should devote their time to. Be praying that other students might receive affirmation of their calling as well.

preparation

2010-06-19T20:05:00.003-07:00

I've been reading Not For Sale by David Batstone - a book that I've planned on reading for a while, but it seems more urgent now, in my preparation for law school. It has been such an interesting and enlightening read so far. It covers a multitude and topics on modern-day slavery including the causes of it, those fighting against it and ways that God is calling us to do something about it for the global nation.

It was published in 2007, so the statistics he references are not outdated. So for starters, did you know that "The commerce in human beings today rivals drug trafficking and the illegal arms trade for the top criminal activity on the planet. The slave trade sits at number three on the list but is closing the gap." Number three in criminal activity? What!? Why aren't more people talking about this. And if they've been talking about this, why is no one listening?

It's easy to point a finger at any number of factors that make human slavery a reality, but Batstone says that, "widespread poverty and social inequality ensure a pool of recruits as deep as the ocean." When we look at countries where human trafficking is most prevalent you cannot miss the fact that poverty and desperation have a stronghold over those that suffer from it, causing them to take drastic measures and do unspeakable things like sell their children into bondage to pay a debt or even survive.

There are many topics addressed in his book, and I want to devote the next series of blog posts to the topics that he addresses. But, as one who hopes to join in the fight for justice and freedom for those in slavery, I was so moved by his words about what he calls these abolitionists of our time.

Batstone writes of freedom fighters, "They recognize that human freedom stands poised at a crucial crossroads in our time. Powerful forces aim to turn human beings into commodities that can be bought and sold like any other piece of property. To declare "not for sale" affirms that every individual has the inalienable right to be free, to pursue a God-given destiny."

We do all have the right to pursue our God, to live in freedom, to live the life that God designed for us. He writes a lot about the law's role in all of this, but I'll get to that. But for now, start talking about this. Start letting it get under your skin a little. If you don't, you won't care about it, and we need people to care about it - now.

2 minutes

2010-06-15T13:45:00.002-07:00

Ok, when you only have a few minutes to update things, I guess you condense it down to the important stuff...well, I'm traveling again. We're on day two of our first MOVE event. Things are going great. Students seem to be energized and really excited to be here.

It's June in southern Indiana, so the weather is terrible. It's sticky, rainy, humid and generally gross. Add to that a tornado watch last night and chalk it all up to a weather fail.

Our worship leader shared a quick thought this morning from 2 Chronicles 16:9 "For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hears are fully committed to him."

I'm going to pray on that verse for a while. I'm asking Him to make me fully committed to Him. How awesome that He would then seek me out to strengthen me.? God is good - all the time.

God at work

2010-06-03T20:09:00.002-07:00

Ok, so I really am going to law school this fall at Arizona State University. God is so good and so faithful. I only have to look back at the past 10 months of my life to see His hand orchestrating my life in a powerful and awesome way.

I've been making this journey since last September, and what a journey it has been. From acceptances and rejections, studying and weighing options and debt and opportunities, God has clearly laid out a path for me at ASU. They were the last school that I heard from, but He couldn't have made it any clearer that that's where He was sending me.

I have no idea what lies ahead for me - and yet I am in such peace about that. How often do we truly get to experience that? How often is it that we welcome the unknown? Granted, it's so much easier when I'm in the midst of such a time of joy in following Christ's calling.

I have a lot to deal with before I can even get to Arizona and wrap my mind around going back to school - and law school nonetheless. So, it should be a wild ride. Can't wait.

Oklahoma City Marathon

2010-04-26T09:54:00.003-07:00

Just to be clear right away, I didn't run a marathon. I did participate in a 5k...but I was mostly taking pictures, so I'm not really an athlete as far as this race is concerned! Here is Sara and Brittany and me with our finisher medals! (Yes, everyone got one.)

Our CIY staff participated in the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon this past weekend to support our partners at Active Water. This summer at MOVE we are going to be challenging students to help raise money for clean drinking water in Zambia. So, as a staff we wanted to take part in what we were asking students to do.

Watching the marathon and half marthon runners was pretty incredible. I didn't even run half of what they did, and I was emotional for them. Seeing them complete such an accomplishment was humbling and exciting all at the same time.

I think I might try another race sometime, but without my camera and with some training! It was pretty cool.

seeing the potential

2010-03-21T14:33:00.003-07:00

We got 3-4 inches of snow last night (yuck, for the record) and so church was cancelled today. It was definitely nice to have a second "Saturday" of sleeping in, but it definitely throws off the weekend too.

I'm re-reading "Twelve Ordinary Men" and I am currently reading about Andrew the disciple. In truth, I don't know too much about the disciples, as in, you could say one of the disciples names and I wouldn't be able to just start listing off characteristics of their personality. But, that's changing. Most of us have read the story about Jesus feeding the five thousand with a little boy's lunch of loaves of bread and fish. But, what I didn't realize or take time to note, was that it was Andrew who brought the boy's lunch to Jesus. I never noticed this part of the story.

What does this say about Andrew? As the other disciples counted the money that they had to buy food and looked to Jesus for a solution, Andrew thought to give Jesus one small thing and trust that it would be sufficient for Jesus to turn it into one big thing. It sounds simple enough, but do I have that kind of faith? And even if I do, do I live it out?

If I had been there that day, I'm not so sure that I would have seen the little boy's small lunch and thought, well this is enough for a few people, but surely Jesus can turn it into more. I would have looked for a practical solution to the problem. I would have been with the other disciples, counting up our money, maybe thinking of a way to negotiate with the baker, but ultimately looking for a tangible and feasible solution to the problem.

I admire Andrew's faith. I admire his ability to see something that clearly wasn't in human terms "enough," and at the same time realize that in Jesus' hands, "enough" becomes relative, becomes sufficient.

no good excuse

2010-03-09T22:21:00.003-07:00

I haven't blogged in forever, to say the least, and I don't have any good excuses, at least not those I'm willing to share :) But I'm making up for it by asking you for money! Our team at work is participating in a race in Oklahoma City at the end of the month, you'll understand shortly. Please visit this link and spare some change if you have it. Ironic that my last post months and months ago was about the Biggest Loser, and when I finally decide to post again, it's still about exercise...

Check out this link. Thanks!

Biggest Loser

2009-09-16T05:01:00.003-07:00

Have you watched this show? I know I'm like 7 seasons behind the rest of the world, but I just saw this show in full for the first time last night - and it's really good. There is one woman on the show who lost her husband and her two children in a car accident about a year or two ago, and she is just incredible. No one could deny that her story was completely heartbreaking, and yet she was so enthusiastic to come on the show and do this for herself. She admitted that she wasn't afraid of death, that would be an easy way out for her considering that her family is gone - this was much harder.

I got choked up several time last night watching these people share their stories and their embarrassment and fear over being so big. Then watching them work out (which truly needs a new name, because I call what I do working out, and my pain looks nothing like theirs!) you're seeing these trainers in their faces pushing, motivating, intimidating and I was just thinking, "wow, I could not do that job. I wouldn't know when to scream and when to encourage, and obviously, when to throw the f word around." (They do that a lot...it helps with the pain? :) )

Bob, one of the trainers, pointed out last night that they had 4 guys on the show over 400 pounds, one of the biggest casts they've ever had. He said this is what they're seeing because this is what is happening in America. Not a big surprise to a lot of people as we often just passively admit that Americans are overweight because they do everything to the extreme or because financially, we can afford to be - but a discouraging fact nonetheless.

London Continued...

2009-09-15T05:09:00.003-07:00

Click here to view these pictures larger

Ok, so it seems like we were in London forever, but the truth is, it was only two days. We're making a huge photobook of our trip, so the best way to share pictures is to make a slideshow after we upload them to the photobook. So, since we're still in London in the photobook, my blog is still in London.

All that to say, London was a lot of fun. After we figured out the metro system (thank you to my New York friend Blair who showed me the ropes on this) we were able to find our way all around the city. The first morning we got there, we showed up at the Tower of London (the castle-looking place from the last post) and just kind of stood there like, "now what?" We quickly came to find that discovering things on our own was fun and adventurous, but once we joined the tour, having a tour guide was invaluable as he was able to provide the context for everything we saw.

Turns out the Tower of London was built in 1078 and was used as a palace a fortress and a prison. You could still see the area around the Tower that was used as a moat. You could pay to go in to what is now a museum, but we didn't end up doing that

Next we walked the bank of the River Thames and made our way (about 3 miles?) to the London Eye. This is a huge sort of ferris wheel (for back of a better explanation) that takes about 30 minutes to go around in a circle and show you an amazing view of London. After that we took a tour of the British Houses of Parliament. The buildings are huge, intricate and pretty impressive. After that we just walked around the city, grabbed dinner and saw a show on the West End.

The next morning we went to Buckingham Palace, but we were so disappointed to not see the guys in the big fuzzy hats and red coats, also known as the Household Calvary Regiment or the traditional guards. Turns out August is exactly the wrong time to visit as you will often see other military men guarding the palace, which we did.

After that we took a pedal boat around Serpentine Lake in Hyde Park - that was definitely good for a laugh. Walked around the city, visited the famous Harrod's department store (it's huge!), amd went to the British Museum where we saw the Rosetta Stone. The Rosetta Stone was created in 196 BC! It's not just the language CD's as some people have thought...how sad.

Anyway, here's some more pictures, they're coming slowly but surely.

More views of London...

2009-09-09T06:07:00.002-07:00

Click here to view these pictures larger

I'm behind! More descriptions on all of this later, but here's some views of and from the Tower of London, the London Eye (the big ferris wheel), the Houses of Parliament, the River Thames and Big Ben.

Back home and slowing down

2009-09-07T15:50:00.001-07:00

Ok, so obviously we only found access to the internet once while overseas - so it looks like I totally dropped the ball on our European adventure. I will try and catch up each night this week with a posting on each city we visited.

I am currently in the car on my way back from Texas. I went down for the weekend to see my parents and my sister who flew in.

It was nice to take some time to slow down a little. It seems like a trip to Europe should be plenty slow, but not when you're trying to see 4 countries in 12 days!

Anyway, we spent some time antiquing this weekend. Funny how that used to seem so boring to me, and now I am a little fascinated by it, always drawn to the old postcards and worn hardcover books. I wonder what of my "junk" might end up at an antique store one day?

London!!!

2009-08-22T10:22:00.003-07:00

to see the full images above, click on each one.

We are just wrapping up day two of our time in London, and it has been so much fun! We visited the Tower Bridge (which by the way is the cool bridge you always see in pictures, the London Bridge is lame), Waterloo Station (for Britt's brother who likes the Bourne movies), the London Eye, the Thames River, the British Musuem (briefly), Hyde Park, took a tour of the Houses of Parliament, Big Ben, Westminister Abbey, Buckingham Palace, gosh, think that's it.

We head off to Paris and met our tour people tomorrow at 5 AM! Ha! We'll be going to bed early tonight.

On a random and funny note, our tourguide's name is Graham, and to answer your next question, no, we won't be telling him that our dog's name is Graham!

Ok, more later. Tomorrow the Eiffel Tower!

It's really here!!

2009-08-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, our Europe trip is finally here.(Mine and Brittany's that is.) We leave this afternoon for our two week excursion through Europe. First stop, London. I hope to update when I can. We're pretty excited but also hope ours bags are under the 50 lb weight limit! For two people that pack for a living, we should be experts at this, but we'll see.

Pray for safety!

Reality

2009-07-08T12:14:00.002-07:00

We're having a good week here in PA. The week is going well, the students seem excited to be here and our staff is working well together.

Last night the topic of the evening was freedom from bondage to our sins. The students spent the day with a paper shackle on each wrist, symbolizing the sins that enslave them. Last night our speaker was addressing this topic and he shared a very real and sad story from his own life about his brother.

His brother was a speaker on the same stage a couple of years ago, and because of bondage to some sin from his past that he never let go of, he now finds himself forced to resign from the church he was at, divorced, and working at a funeral home and waiting tables at night.

How incredibly sad. That could be anyone in ministry really. Any person who hasn't repented of their sins and given their life to Jesus and been made free in that. He had dealt with some addiction to pornography, he was sexually active in high school, and he had never really dealt with that. As his brother said, he was just trying to live in both worlds, and sooner or later, that catches up with you. If you don't deal with those sins, if you don't repent of them, turn away from them, or they will destroy your life.

I was just caught up in the reality of that story. The reality that I had met this man, that I had seen pictures of his family and now, that image that I had of him wasn't true anymore. That is reality: if you aren't daily walking with the Lord, if you don't turn away from the things that hold you in bondage, then you are enslaved to those things and you aren't experiencing freedom, and you aren't living in Christ.

I have been sorting through that all summer -what that looks like in my life. What am I enslaved to? I've realized that for a lot of us, that could be an everyday question, battle, realization. I guess I'm trying to pinpoint the things that I have deemed necessary or essential to worry about, or spend time on and then asked myself - who is that for? Will that bring glory to God? Is that for me or for Him?

I would challenge you to ask yourself the same thing? What do you hold to be more important than God? How did it get there and how will you get rid of it?

Slacking..

2009-07-03T10:52:00.002-07:00

I haven't posted in like two weeks. I guess you can assume that life just got busy, or I got lazy, or a little of both.

Anyway, I'm headed to our Pennsylvania conference in about 15 minutes. We get to fly there (nice!) and drive home, so we're headed to the airport soon. Everything is pretty much the same, work is busy but great, Graham is...trouble.

He is having a hard time getting poddy trained and he's still biting. I am learning so much about the patience I don't have. I have more patience with people, I know this because I've seen myself use it. But, I've realized when I can't communicate with someone, when my words won't work, I get REALLY frustrated. I don't have anything else! My body language doesn't translate to a dog, my tone of voice doesn't really work, and yelling words he doesn't understand is useless. Thus, me being a "words" person has failed me.

I'll try, I really will, to be better about posting this week. I have missed staying in touch with my family and my friends as well as normal, so I will be try harder!

Miss you guys.

Checking in

2009-06-18T20:40:00.004-07:00

It's late, so I don't have a lot of coherent thoughts put together about the day, so I'll share whatever thoughts I've got at this point.

This are going really well. I feel like this week, more than any other, I've really had a chance to chat with a lot of youth ministers, and the feedback has been really positive. As we at CIY have shifted our focus more to what a Kingdom Worker can look like, and pushing student's to choose to respond to God's calling in their lives, youth ministers have shared that students are really resonating with that.

This year we're going through the book of Exodus, and tonight was talking about Moses coming down off of the mountain to find that the Israelites had already begun making their own idols to worship as Moses had taken too long in coming back.

We challenged students to discover what are the idols in their lives, as I began to reflect the same of my own. I think that each of us could discover a lot of things that we put great importance in, before God. The speaker tonight, Matt Reagan, summed it up best by saying that these idols say to God, "You're not enough for me. I need this."

That's painful to put into perspective. How can the God who created the universe, molded us by hand, and crafted us for His purpose not be enough?

I will be challenging myself, probably forever, to not make idols of earthly things. As each of us is human and will constantly be fighting against the flesh.

On a much less serious note, here's what's new in my life this week:

I found a really good, new, organic cereal that tastes like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, only minus all of the bad oils and additives. (Mom, you should be so happy about that.)

I gave up on a nap today. That should be repeated: I gave up on a nap today. I tried to fall asleep, but my phone kept ringing, so I got up and worked out instead. I never pass on a nap. Who am I?

I have locked myself out of something 3 times this week.

I mailed my Dad's Father's Day gift today. I can't wait to post what it is, but I have to wait so I don't spoil it in the off chance my mom convinces my dad to read my blog.

I went to WalMart for one reason, and came back with everything but the thing I went there for in the first place.

Apparently, my theories about brain freeze are completely inaccurate and not shared by, well, anyone.

Oh, the highlight of my day, I almost forgot!! There's a dog that hangs out inside the local copy center. It belongs to the woman who owns the place. He's a schnoodle. A schnauzer/poodle. Ha! His name was Bo, and he was so cute. We played fetch, I gave him a hug and told the lady that I would probably be back to visit even if I didn't have copies to make. And then, it made me miss Graham.

Ok, that's about all. Goodnight.

Night One

2009-06-15T20:18:00.004-07:00

First night of our MOVE in Indiana - done. I'll keep it brief, because I'm tired and it's late. But, here are the highlights:

The computers were being TERRIBLE. After almost 2 hours of troubleshooting, (i.e. command promps, ip addresses, pinging, mapping network drives, what? believe me, I know) one of our IT guys was able to make it work.

Now picture being on the phone this whole time while other phone calls are coming in on the work phone, while your personal phone is also ringing, you are getting texts from people back at the office and the people right in front of you are waiting for instructions. Ha! You get the idea.

But, God works through all things, and uses these things for good. And indeed he did. We have just over 1,100 students and adults here this week, and they are so excited. The energy felt more like a Wednesday (if you do events like this, you know what I mean, they're already warmed up). Aaron Pelsue is leading worship, and He did a great job.

That's about all I've got left for now, here's some pictures from the night. Enjoy!!

Going well

2009-06-14T04:30:00.005-07:00

We made it here to Anderson, IN. We've made it about halfway through our setup, so we'll have some more work to do today. We're going to help unload our audio truck this morning and then head to church. One of the guys on our staff, Josh, his father-in-law preaches at a church here in Anderson, so that's where we're headed.

This is a great team to work with. The early stages of travel are always the most fun. Everything is still new, we're all excited to be out on the road, and we're all just beginning to discover quirks about each other's personalities, so there's always lots to laugh about.

Our registration is tomorrow. So that means while the campus here is empty and quiet now, in about 24 hours, we'll be welcoming about 1100 students and leaders here. I'll be honest, I'm still pretty excited. I've done this for a few summers now, including my internship, this is my 4th. But even still, there is just something about the anticipation of having everyone get here and seeing the program for the first time with them that is hard to ignore.

Pray for a smooth day today. Pray also for the students coming. That they would arrive safely and that God could reach them in a mighty way this week.

On the road

2009-06-12T06:03:00.000-07:00

Well, we're officially off to our first event. We're about half an hour down the road now and I've already stopped processing my "what did we forget?" list, so I'm considering that an accomplishment.

I'm excited to be transitioning out of "expectations mode" and into actual "experiencing mode." This is like a mountain that we've been climbing up for months now, and we're finally about to get to see the view.

I'm excited to share with you this challange that we're issuing to students this summer. A challange to do something incredible, seemingly unattainable even - for the sole purpose of bringing glory to God.

I'll let you know more about it as the week progresses, and when I don't have to type on a 3 inch keyboard!

Be praying for safe travels and for the students whose lives will be changed for God's Kingdom this summer.

My Sister's Keeper

2009-06-07T20:36:00.004-07:00

I finished this about a week ago, it's our latest book club pick. If you haven't seen the preview for the movie coming out, be warned, it's going to be a tear-jerker.

The book was really good. Jodi Picoult happens to already be one of my favorite authors. Thanks Jenna for introducing her to me. (On a side note, I recommend her book Nineteen Minutes also.)

Anyway, this book brought up a lot of interesting issues. It covers a young girl's battle with a terminal illness, and her younger sister's role in helping her stay alive through any number of medical donations and procedures.

Picoult writes through the perspective of all of her characters, using first person narratives to tell a really heart-wrenching story. She really portrayed the parents' conflict in trying to save one daughter while using the other daughter to do so.

I definitely recommend this book, but be warned that Picoult often doesn't have happy endings. I think she definitely writes from the "life doesn't always have happy endings-realist" standpoint than anything else.

Busy

2009-06-07T20:28:00.002-07:00

It's just that kind of season right now where when you're busy, you're really busy. And when there's down time, it's sacred. So, I haven't blogged in a while. I head out to Indiana this Friday, so I'm preparing literally and mentally for heading out to my first event for the summer.

At work this means getting the interns trained and the merchandise packed, at home this translates to: laundry - a lot of it.

Having been a seasoned traveler for a couple of years now I can tell you from experience that leaving town is a pain. Not being out of town so much, but just getting yourself out the door and into a vehicle or onto a plane is a true annoyance.

There's just always so much to do. Make sure you clean things for when you get back, think about packing, laundry, paying bills. It's a hassle. And if you take shortcuts in this process either by not doing something you wanted to, or not bringing something you wanted to - then you regret it, on your trip or when you get back, but there's that split second where you go, "why didn't I just..."

Oh well. I'm trying to work ahead of time to avoid those things. I did some laundry today, probably to be followed by more tomorrow.

The Welcomed Unexplainable

2009-05-25T20:59:00.003-07:00

I had a pretty serious post on here last month about my friend's dad, who was looking at a pretty serious diagnosis.

I am amazed, joyful, to report that her father's test results came back, the week of her wedding, absolutely clear. The tumor that was thought to be growing in his body was literally nowhere to be found. His doctor was even speechless. She sent the results around to a few other doctors, all to collectively confirm that they too were shocked and unable to explain where this life threatening tumor now wasn't.

I know that prayer is powerful. I have seen it firsthand in a number of situations, some small, some as big as this, but always I am taken aback by God's mercy and by His power. We don't always get the miracle that we hope for - which in itself can be another miracle from our Creator. We can pray fiercely, be surrounded by a team of people praying for us, and things can still not turn out exactly the way we prayed for, but God speaks through those times too.

Hear me say this, I am so thankful that her father was blessed in this way. I am thankful for her family, for their time together that can continue, but I am still hoping that he can see that His Father had a hand in all of this. We never know the things that God might use to draw us closer to Him. For my friend's dad, I hope he doesn't miss the compassion and the healing that God poured out for him.

I sat at her wedding on Saturday and watched him walk his daughter down the aisle, and I was brought to tears by the whole moment. You know those times when your feelings, too complicated and varied to pin down, can just well up inside you and overwhelm you? This was one of those times. All the happiness, relief, personal longing that I felt caught up in a moment of watching my friend share a memory with her father that I too hope to share one day. It really was a beautiful thing.

Flashbacks

2009-05-21T20:38:00.003-07:00

Our summer interns arrived in Joplin yesterday. Jennifer and I went to Tulsa to pick up 3 of the girls, and the rest made their way into Joplin driving or via other airports. Greeting them and seeing their excitement I am reminded of my excitement when I arrived in Joplin the summer of 2006.

I can't believe it's already 3 summers later, and I'm still here. I love it. I am so thrilled about what I get to do every day, and the things I get to share with our interns. I find that it helps renew my passion when I get to share what I love doing with someone else. It's exciting, and their excitement helps sustain mine.

I am praying for a wonderful summer for our interns. I am praying that God uses them in a mighty way. I am praying for their stamina, for their patience and for their dedication. This internship is what you make of it. You can see every opportunity as a chance to serve and to grow in the process, or you can spend your time feeling unfulfilled as you begin to make every situation about you, about how you feel, about what you think you need.

But really, can't that be true for any of us? Life is that way for each of us. It isn't just bound to internships or to those summer months that somehow can separate themselves from the rest of the year. We all get out of situations what we make of them. So let our interns be a reminder to us to really take the time to serve, to step outside of yourself and be passionate about your work, not for the sake of how you'll look but for how it will affect others.

Sold

2009-05-19T10:08:00.004-07:00

This was an incredible story of a girl in India who is trafficked into Nepal and sold to a brothel. I don't know how familiar you are with the topic of human trafficking, but the statistics are incredible - both shocking and horrific all at the same time.

Human trafficking is modern-day slavery. Visit this website to see some of the figures on the fastest growing criminal industry in the world.

This book is told in first person by Lakshmi, a 12-year-old girl. The book is comprised of short segments, half-thoughts really, as this young girl's word is drastically changed and torn apart. It isn't unbearably graphic, but the entire idea of these girls being sold for sexual exploitation is hard enough to stomach on its own.

At CIY we've been raising awareness about the human trafficking industry in Cambodia through a film we made called Baht. When our production team made this film last year, this was the first I had even heard of trafficking. There's a young girl in the film who painfully tells the story of how she was tricked, sold to a brothel, and the events that followed as she was drugged and held captive by her "owner."

I remember watching this film for the first time and just feeling sick, completely unable to understand the sick and fallen world we live in. These girls and boys sold into slavery are often sold by their parents who need money. So ok, you might, might be able to rationalize and maybe understand one fraction of the desperation of these parents to survive, selfish as it may be. But, there is nothing in me that can even begin to understand the men that come into these brothels and pay money to hurt these girls.

I know, this really makes you want to read this book. But you should. It's important to not ignore these things.

Routines

2009-05-17T14:50:00.005-07:00

So, we've had Graham for 3 days now and we're slowly starting to see old routines disappear (sleep, for one) and new ones quickly emerge.

For starters, as a proud Graham owner, I find myself explaining to people Graham's behavior as "he always..." or "he really likes..." as if somehow, in 3 days, I know that "he always" and that "he really likes." But secretly, I think I do know.

The first night we had him I was up 4 times - 3 of which were spaced exactly an hour and 20

minutes apart, and the last of which happened sometime around 4 a.m. Graham would begin to whine, I would go out to the living room, take him out of his crate, and sure enough, he would have to go to the bathroom. We have been taking him out on our puppy training pad out on our balcony, this allows us to avoid taking him down a flight of stairs in the middle of the night to go the grass.

So, as I was saying, he always whines, tells us he has to go to the bathroom, and then goes. The next night, he only woke us up 3 times. Last night: only 2. Improvement already! This is a seriously smart dog.

He really likes to drag his big toys around backwards. Now, I use the term "big toys" loosely. When you weigh 2 pounds, everything is a "big toy." But he has dragged around a plastic Walmart sack, his hand-sized bath towel, and a metal food bowl that we bought him - the smallest one they had - that is still, miraculously, too big.

He really likes to chew on hands, fingers, sleeves, toes, bracelets, flip-flops, purse strings, his metal cage - literally anything he can get his little teeth on. He isn't doing an real damage, but he can make a good little indentation on your hand if you let him!

He always goes into his crate and into his bed to take a nap. What a smart dog! He knows that's where he sleeps, so he goes there to enjoy it. (Or he knows that if he doesn't, we'll probably try to wake him up and play with him.)

He always does this crazy side-hop-pouncing thing when he gets excited. He likes to spin himself around in a circle as he's chasing a toy.

He always takes the little bones we give him and takes one little piece at a time off somewhere separate to eat it. Our family dogs growing up used to do that, I don't know if they think you'll take it from them or what. But bone eating, in case you didn't know, was meant to be done in private.

He's cute, he's playful, and he's really cuddly when he wants to be. But, he has certainly upset some routines. Getting an uninterrupted night's sleep is definitely a routine of the past, at least for a while. Not going home for hours and not thinking twice about it - out. Being able to take a Sunday afternoon nap, whenever, and not worrying about your carpet while you do it - gone.

These are just concessions, small ones, to have a joyful little puppy in our lives.

Graham!!!

2009-05-15T05:42:00.001-07:00

Until I learn how to post the slideshow here, check out photos of our new puppy!!!

(Stories to come soon!)

Meet Joshua

2009-05-14T05:06:00.006-07:00

Isn't he precious? This is 5-year-old Joshua, my Compassion child. For $32 a month, I sponsor him, allowing him a chance at a better education, health check-ups, an opportunity to attend a church-based program and to hear about Jesus.

In return, I get sweet photos like this every couple of months, a hand-drawn picture of easter eggs, a letter from him telling me about his family, the songs he's learning in church, his latest drawing of swirls and shapes, and updates on his progress in school. It's incredibly rewarding - which isn't the real reason to sponsor a child - but it's a nice bonus of a very important donation.

I started sponsoring Joshua in 2007 when Compassion was our offering recipient at MOVE, CIY's high school program that year. At the time, he was just 3 years old, wearing a baggy light blue sweatshirt and little crocs. Now look at him! He's a little gentleman!

It was about 8 months ago or so when I got a photo of Joshua with two other little boys, one of which looked remarkably like my Josh. He has a twin. I was so touched to find out this little piece of his life. Just recently I received his first Kindergarten report card. He's doing ok, he's not at the top of his class, and he's not really near the middle, but it's only Kindergarten, he'll get better.

I want to encourage you to to check out this sponsorship page on Compassion's website. If you aren't giving to anyone, if you've been looking for a way to help someone, this is a great way to do it. God calls us to give, and to give abundantly. While $32 a month isn't by any means a huge donation, it's significant in it's impact, and consistent in my life as outreach.

Think about it. Who wouldn't want to get photos like this?

I'm pretty sure I have a picture from my childhood

with this same grumpy face. I think he was just trying to be serious!

Florida visit

2009-05-12T20:50:00.006-07:00

Traveling gets me so off track! I was way too tired last night to blog, but I'm forcing myself to at least post something!

My trip home was good - too fast - but a lot of fun. It really is hard sometimes to be one of those people that actually enjoys spending time with their family, but lives so far away. My mom teared up at the airport when she dropped us off. I could have too, but I tried not to add to her sapping off (that's what we like to call it.)

Kristan graduated from Trinity University with her career in Christian Counseling. I really am so proud of all she accomplished. She graduated magna cum laude and is already mid-way

through an internship that she truly loves.

It's so incredible to see someone using their gifts, and truly doing what God has called them to for His Kingdom. You can tell that her entire journey to becoming a Christian has given her life experience and incredible stores of empathy to really be a good counselor. I am so excited for the lives that God will change and restore through her.

*Can you pick out Brittany and Ryan?? Hint: there's 3 sets of twins in this picture :)

Going home

2009-05-07T14:58:00.000-07:00

This is my first try posting on the go (from my phone), so this might be a little shorter than normal.

I'm headed home for my sister Kristan's graduation from graduate school at Trinity University. It will be a really fast weekend, as I'm headed back Sunday night.

My friend (and roommate) Brittany is coming home with me, as is her brother Ryan - who can resist a graduation weekend in Florida? Introducing two people to the family craziness this weekend should be somewhere in the neighborhood of entertaining. I'll keep you posted :)

Call me the Cake Expert

2009-05-05T19:48:00.006-07:00

I'm on my way to cake decorating expert status. My friend Allison and I took our first cake decorating class from Wilton this evening. We didn't actually get to touch or eat cake, but we did watch our instructor expertly slice, frost, and begin to decorate a cake.

I love to cook, and seeing as how I have no professional cooking or baking experience, this clas

s seemed like a great way to partially fulfill my dream to go to culinary school, at least for now. (It's not even close to culinary school, I know. Don't ruin the dream.)

So, over the next 4 Tuesdays, we will learn how to make the perfect decorating icing, how to ice a cake using all of the different decorating tips that come with the frosting bags, and begin to learn how to use fondant (the super smooth icing) on a cake, I'm pretty excited!

The catch? You may pay only $15 to take the class, but you have to invest slightly more than that in supplies. (I'm about to explain all of these things in English and not use the correct terminology - sorry.) We have to get: a fancy thing that allows you to turn the cake while you decorate it, special cooking spray that allows the cake not to stick to the pan, but won't leave an un-ideal crust on the cake, these silver strips that fit around the cake pan that allow the cake to bake from the center outward, this creates a smooth service for the top of the cake, special gel food coloring that won't thin your icing, and spatulas with an angle ideal for icing.

What I want to know is, who invented all this? You should see the thing that will slice a cake

perfectly across the center allowing you to put a filling in the cake. I've include a picture. (The picture actually has two wire slicers, we only saw the one that demonstrated one slice.)

There's also this Meringue Powder that helps make the homemade frosting we have to make the perfect consistency. What? Special powder?

I mock all of this, but really, I'm totally on board. I can't wait to make my own frosting using whatever strange powder they tell me to use. I can't wait to decorate my rainbow, clown, fish, happy face cake, or whatever other template they try and get us to mimic.

It's fun. It's different than anything else I usually get to do. It isn't stressful. It engages skills that I get to use on a day-to-day basis, and it's cake! What's not to like?

The West Wing

2009-05-04T20:50:00.002-07:00

Sadly, this won't be political commentary, but rather just a side note that I'm encouraging (forcing?) my roommate Brittany to watch the TV show the West Wing with me from Season 1. I was a freshman in high school when the show first came out in 1999. So I didn't watch it then, but was later introduced to it by my sister who has a strange, albeit entertaining, fascination with the White House - both the real and the fictional one on television. (Truthfully, that is a whole blog in and of itself, but she might not appreciate that.)

Anyway, I do believe the show makes you a little smarter - or at the very least makes government and legislative processes interesting. During season one they pass many a bill through Congress, appoint a Supreme Court justice, navigate many foreign affairs, deal with national disasters and even the subpoena of an executive White House staff member. Don't I sound well informed?

All this to say, I should take such an interest in current affairs, but I would just be disappointed. At the very least, I am bettering my political vocabulary - important, I know.

**side note for anyone who was a fan of this show: you wouldn't believe how many montages there are of cheesy songs set to video clips of Josh and Donna, the long awaited relationship on the show. Here's one if you're interested! (Blair, I know you are :))

Water for Elephants

2009-05-03T19:25:00.003-07:00

book review #2..

This was the other one we read for book club this month. I have to say, I was reading this at the airport, and several people (women) stopped to say, "It's so good, isn't it?" Which hasn't happened to me with a book in public in a while, so I thought, this one must really be good.

And it was. A very different sort of story. This young guy in school to be a veterinarian suffers a serious tragedy in his life, runs off without any direction and ends up joining a traveling circus.

The rest of the story is told on flashback segments from the man, who is now in his 90's. There are definitely some questionable things that this man witnesses as part of a circus - think carnies, other strange, unexplainable things. But, the author did a great job describing everything. The images were very vivid, I felt like I have seen everything she wrote about with my own eyes.

I would recommend it to anyone looking for a book that isn't predictable, is completely out-of-the-ordinary, and wants something different. Oh, but I still don't know why it's called Water for Elephants. Go figure?

The Friday Night Knitting Club.

2009-05-03T07:15:00.002-07:00

I participate in a women's book club here with some women from work or wives of men that I work with, and this was one of the books we selected this month. For those that haven't read it, I won't spoil it, except to tell you it's a good book.

Definitely a book for girls. I've heard it compared to Steel Magnolias, clever, since rumor has it this will be a movie - with Julia Roberts - in 2010. (Just FYI, the NY Times says the movie comes out in 2009?)But truthfully, it does compare to any story about female friendships, bonds that grow and become like sisterhoods and the difficulties of forgiveness.

I would definitely recommend it. I would also warn you that it made me want to knit. The author subtly tries to empower you, to let you think that knitting can be relaxing, but it can be powerful thinking you have the whole design in your hands, and you have the ability to make something with just yarn and needles.

Truth: I haven't bought yarn or needles yet. Harder truth: I am strongly considering it. Who doesn't want a handmade scarf? I don't think I'll start a knitting club, but I wouldn't rule it out yet either. If you want to though, there's no shortage of advice out there!

As it turns out, this book has a sequel. I'm going to try and track it down...

Need a new blog title

2009-05-01T14:41:00.001-07:00

I've decide I can't just call my blog "Krystle." It sounds too much like I'm trying to be someone who thinks that going by one name is enough - surely you know "Krystle, she doesn't even need a last name!" Everyone I know has clever blog names. I need one too. I'm open for suggestions. Brittany, I know you'll have some!

New York, contd.

2009-04-30T20:47:00.012-07:00

I'm terrible about putting pictures up, so I'll post a few here and maybe make up for never posting any!

So, here's Times Square. Blair and I spent a lot of time there since that's where all the Broadway shows are - and we certainly got our fair share of those! You can see the billboard for Mama Mia in this picture here, and you can see the Winter Garden theater in the next photo.

So, I came up for a great business venture while we wandered Times Square. It's hard not to be distracted by the thousands of interesting people walking the area or the flashy billboards that line the main street. So, I thought, why not buy a billboard (feasibility is completely unimportant in this business idea, just fyi) and find a way to post an image up there with a live camera, and allow people to get their face on a billboard in Times Square for like 30 seconds - and charge them for it!

It's not 15 minutes of fame, but 15 minutes would be an eternity to have your face on a screen that big anyway. It's brilliant! (sort of)

So, I did a quick google search to see who I am sharing genius status with and it turns out, this idea already exists. But this was a public art project, and it was free, so there is still potential money to be made.

Anyway, here's a shot from the encore of Mama Mia. It was awesome, a lot of fun. Never have I seen so many guys waving their arms and freely dancing to Abba's Dancing Queen - caught up in broadway fever??

We also saw In the Heights, a story about an area of New York City called Washington Heights and the people that live there. We were lucky enough to enter the show's ticket lottery and see this one from the front row for only $25. We tried twice, got picked the second time and my name was called first. Blair let's out a loud laugh and I (calm, cool and collected but secretly jumping up and down) go and retrieve our tickets for the front row. The set picture below was our view from about a foot from the stage and actors! The dancing and music in it were amazing.

We saw Mary Poppins too. It wasn't our favorite, but the set design and staging were incredible. Things literally appeared from who-knows-where and Mary Poppin's magical, never-ending carpet bag didn't disappoint. She pulled a lamp from it, a hat stand and sure enough, a sheet that somehow became a bed? It was pretty incredible.

I'll be going to see the Music Man at Ozark Christian College on Saturday evening, but I've already promised not to compare it to anything from this past weekend. Hey, a musical is a musical - I'm in.

Oh yeah, and here's me and Blair dancing with the cast from In the Heights. (Ok, really we're sitting out front of the theater with the painted mural of the cast being dorks and pretending we're with them. Sad. I know.)

Overwhelmed

2009-04-29T17:01:00.002-07:00

It's hard not to feel completely overwhelmed sometimes when you face a great sadness. I'm heavy of heart, to the point of many tears right now for a friend of mine. Her father is facing a pretty serious, near non-survivable prognosis, and I feel overwhelmed, for her, for her family, and for her father.

Her dad isn't a Christian, a story I am all too familiar with. She and I have shared many a prayer or conversation together about a day when either, or hopefully, both of our father's would come to know Jesus, come to have a relationship with Him and find their salvation. But here, facing this, facing the possibility of running out of time, of opportunities, it seems urgent, frighteningly urgent, to help her dad find salvation.

The tears for me seem to keep coming. Because I'm sad for her, scared too, and unable to resist putting myself in her situation and feeling the great sadness and fear that accompanies that situation.

I've had conversations with my own father, subtly urging him to hear me, my sisters and my mom out on this "faith thing," while inside pleading, begging him to hear me, to hear us, begging God to let him hear.

You need Jesus. Your life would be so different if you understood He came here to save you from a meaningless life. He came to the earth to pay the price for every sinful thing you've ever done or will do so that you could know His Father, know our Father, know THE Father. What are you so scared of? That you won't be able to live for you anymore? That He'll take away the things that make you happy? That will happen anyway if you don't find Him. The things of this world will pass away, and you'll be in another one, scarily enough, a thousand times more evil and horrible than this one.

Can I just say that to my Dad? Will he hear me?

My friend is getting married in about three weeks. I prayed for her this morning, thanking God that He will let her father be there for that. That he will get to walk his only daughter down the aisle, and hand her off into the loving arms of a good, Christian man.

I could be so wrong though. Because, I'm still praying for a miracle. I'm still praying that God will choose to show His power and make the prognosis something even the doctors can't explain. I'm still asking that we will all be able to say that only God could have saved him in this way.

These things happen to people not because they're bad, or they deserve them, but because we live in a fallen world. A world that once was perfect until humans messed it up. Until we began sinning and needed a Savior. If my friend's dad could understand the love our God has to offer, the peace that comes with that, and the eternity to follow - we could rejoice. Every believer could rejoice, for if his diagnosis is the worst that it could be, we could still give thanks, knowing that we will see him again one day. I want that for my friend's dad, I want that for my own.

Those are the things I'll pray for.

New York, old friend

2009-04-28T20:16:00.002-07:00

I've been away for a few days - got to go to New York to see one of my best friends since high school, Blair. Strange how the scenery can change, the date can change, but the friendship is still the same. We laughed - a lot, saw several Broadway shows and ate our way through several frozen yogurt shops around the city.

Pink Berry and Red Mango were definitely my favorites. Funny, since one of them just found two synonyms for the other, how clever, and I can't give one credit, since I don't know which came first.

Because Blair and I are so crafty, and have a unique gift for winning Broadway show's tickets lottery, where they do a drawing selecting 20 winners who can buy the front row seats for only $20, we were able to see three shows: Mama Mia, In The Heights and Mary Poppins...reviews and photos to follow tomorrow!

birthday desserts (plural)

2009-04-21T20:11:00.004-07:00

So, I don't really have a lot to report, but I didn't want to get out of the habit of writing. Me and another friend, Phoebe, took Allison out for her birthday tonight. We ended up at a Mediterranean restaurant that we like. The food was good. But really, when pita bread is served as a side to every dish, can you go wrong with that?

The disappointing part of the evening was when we found out they were out of their specialty dessert, Allison's favorite - baklava. Bummer. We came here thinking, "yeah, the food will be good, but dessert will be great." False. No baklava.

But, our disappointment did award Allison some Boston Cream Pie - on the house. Not a joke, I did a quick google search on my phone to make sure that Boston Cream Pie didn't contain coconut - thereby ruining the free dessert altogether for Allison. Luckily, it didn't. Just some custard/cream filling and chocolate icing.

However, I don't know if you know this about birthdays, but if you don't get what you were hoping to eat, you go somewhere else and try again. See, there's something about negative calories on your birthday. Some theorem that says whatever calories you consume on your birthday are actually deducted from your caloric intake - which means - eat whatever you want, and lose weight, it's your birthday!

So, we moved on to another fine establishment for some chocolate cake with a gooey center. Although, our waiter did say, "did you want to try our brand new, awesome, incredible, mile-high...oh wait, what's it called?" He then rushed back to the computer, frantically looking up the name of the dessert he was trying to talk us in to, not a good start to a sales pitch. He doesn't find the name of it, but instead rushes back to our table and apologizes for offering us something that apparently debuted yesterday, but only to the staff, and wasn't available yet.

I went on to name it the Mile-High Midnight Pie, catchy, I know. We made fun of him for offering us something he couldn't deliver, or name for that matter. He made up for it by bringing out about 8 staff members and singing some made-up birthday song, complete with embarrassing clapping and an awkward pause to ask Allison's age - she rounded, down, around, rounded.

Spring Cleaning

2009-04-18T21:19:00.002-07:00

So, I'm kind of new to the whole garage sale thing. We didn't really have any (that I can remember) growing up. Although now, looking at my boxes of "keepsakes" and picturing my parent's garage - I can guarantee you that we should have.

Today I sold some stuff at my friend Jennifer's garage sale. It's amazing to realize how unimportant once very important things become to you when someone starts offering you money for it. I said goodbye to some random VHS tapes, my family's long-awaited acquiring of Oliver and Company among them. (Dogs and cats on the streets of New York singing bluesy tunes?)

Seriously, the things people bought, I kept thinking, "don't buy that, I didn't want it for a reason!" But, they offered money - and I was happy to see it go. I said goodbye to a framed I Love Lucy print that my dad bought me in 9th or 10th grade? Maybe it was older than that. That was during the phase when my family and friends mistook my "I like Lucy" phase for an "I seriously love lucy, want to own anything that has her face on it, even collector's stamps" phase. So sadly, the remnants of that went to a new home today. Luckily I don't think it was sentimental for me or my dad, so farewell.

Junk sale. Rummage sale. Those names are more appropriate. Oh well. What do they say? One man's junk is another man's treasure? Ha! Sad but true, as I'm sure my items will appear at someone else's yard sale by this time next year.

Tornados and Cheers

2009-04-17T10:36:00.002-07:00

All of my friends are regularly posting to their blog..I can't be behind!

Jenna and Brittany, good job. You've challenged me to try and do better about posting.

I'm on my lunch break at work. My car is getting detailed today, so I'm stuck here making up things to do during lunch. I need to tell my Dad I paid to get my car detailed and waxed - he'd really be so proud. He spends between 4 and infinity hours each weekend lovingly detailing his two Harley's...can you say boring?

Things are good here in Missouri. We're approaching/already in (I really don't know) tornado season here as the weather gets warmer. Which means, I sleep some nights with the TV on low volume in case I suddenly need to sit up and watch the scrolling text at the bottom of the screen tell me I need to be cautious because there's a tornado watch for our area.

Great. I live on the second floor, I don't know my VERY noisy neighbors below me, and I don't have easy access to a basement. I am super paranoid about these things - something fairly new to me since I usually don't let things get me too worked up. Tornados? That's another story.

People always say, "but you lived in FL, where they have hurricanes, that's so much worse." Um, I think not. With hurricanes you get a week's notice to take cover, to evacuate, to build an arc? Tornados? Duck and cover, now, and hope for the best.

Talked to my mom at work today. She's got a little boy named Graham that she watches in between his speech therapy sessions. He's 2, and pretty precious. He needs to trim his hair a little to not be mistaken for a girl, but he's pretty cute. Evidently, my mom taught him to say "cheers" not quite sure why, as that usually implies some sort of drinking, but he says it whenever he sees her, and his parent's don't seem to mind.

So, I'm on the phone with her, and she puts me on speakerphone so I can say hi to Graham, and he in turn to me.

"Hi Graham."

"Hi!"

"Cheers!"

Maybe my mom has something there - a new greeting perhaps? I'll try it.

Not a drill

2008-10-27T10:07:00.004-07:00

Sirens blared around 1 a.m. as the recorded voice announced, "Warning. An emergency has been reported. Please report to the nearest exit immediately."

My mom and I had only been in and out of sleep for a few hours. A fraternity/sorority was having a convention at the hotel we were staying at, and it seemed like the "convention" was continuing into the night - on our floor. So, it wasn't like we were sleeping too well anyway, with doors slamming and loud talking just outside our door.

"Is that the fire alarm?" It's an obvious question, but I was out of it, so I asked anyway.

"Yeah, I think it is."

My mom and I get up and scramble around to find whatever it is we deem valuable enough to grab. I walk over to the door to look at the emergency exit diagram that no one bothers to look at, until I guess, you have to. It says we go to the stairwell to the left.

"Come on mom. Grab your purse and the room key and let's go."

Meanwhile, my mom stops to put on jeans and a shirt over her pajamas, obviously she wasn't too concerned about how serious this "emergency" was.

We head out into the hallway, the recorded voice still repeating, as people are running up and down the hall. We head to the stairway and I push open the door. It was funny because it was only after I had opened the door that I realized I didn't stop to feel the door with the back of my hand. They teach you that in fire safety in elementary school, I guess it stayed with me, but not well enough.

There are already people in the stairwell making their way down to the first floor, and you can definitely smell smoke. You can't see it, but something is burning. Luckily, we were on the third, so we didn't have too far to go. We exit out the side of the hotel to a large group of people that had already stepped outside.

As if the alarm going off at 1 in the morning wasn't enough to set me off, this is when I really start to get annoyed. There is no one outside directing anyone. Hotel staff? Nope. Police officers? Nope. Firemen? No. Obviously, no one is ready for this situation. It's some of the louder guys in the fraternity who eventually get the group to move a little further away from the building.

During all this I'm thinking about when we used to have bomb threat drills in high school. We'd have to get so many feet away from the building and stand with our back to the school, because obviously that should be enough to protect us in the event of an explosion. Well, no precautions here, people are standing wherever they want.

My mom and I walk around to the front of the hotel since I think this is where we'll have the best chance at finding out what's going on. Well, I was almost right. I could eavesdrop better from here - but no one was any more organized in the front of the building.

Five, maybe four fire trucks pull up to the hotel. The first group of firemen get out and three firemen walk into the lobby with tools resembling axes, but with different tools on each end, and the last of the group carrying a fire hose. They didn't so much walk in to lobby as they did cruise into the lobby - read: they were in no hurry.

"Well, I guess it's not too serious."

It's October in Florida, so it was by no means "cold" but it was breezy, and the middle of the night, so it was kind of chilly. My mom thinks it would be a good idea to sit inside one of the 2 15-passenger hotel vans parked out front of the lobby. I argue that then everyone will want to get in with us, and so we don't.

But in the meantime, I'm still trying to figure out why no one is in charge of this evacuation. We still haven't seen a single hotel staff person walk out and say anything, herd anyone anywhere. The police officers that are walking around only stop to talk to each other. They glance at the several hundred guests standing around, but that's about it.

I tell my mom that maybe the hotel general manager is inside with the staff doing a quick briefing on how they're going to handle this situation from here. You know, "this is how we'll hand out the free vouchers, this is how to calm a frantic guest, this is how we usher people back inside once the fire is taken care of." Ha. Nothing like that was going on.

A few more firemen stroll up to the lobby doors that slide open for them. They head into the lobby and just stand at the entrance with the police officers. No rush, no hurry, no worries apparently.

I look up at the front of the building. This is good. Very ironic. Projected onto the front of the building is a seal that reads "Best Place 2008." I don't know who voted for that designation - but I'm going to go ahead and say they should take that down. The Quorum Hotel in Tampa is going to lose a few star ratings over this one...

Eventually there are some guests bold/nosy/deserving-of-the-information enough to ask a fire official (his job: handing out name tags to the firemen entering the building, and carrying a radio) what happened. I notice that he's actually going to answer, so I push my way over into their circle.

"There was a fire on the eighth floor. I guess someone threw a cigarette onto the bed."

Great. All this for that? Another reason to detest smoking, and another thing to add to my list at 2 a.m. We're outside for almost an hour when we're let back into the building. We head back in when a group of people get pushy enough to make their way inside the sliding doors of the hotel and stand there, staring, into the lobby. Eventually they move into the lobby, and the rest of us follow. There is one hotel personnel behind the counter, he's on the phone. With who? No one's in their rooms, we're all outside. There's one other hotel staff member who's running around frantically, mumbling to himself about "them" not turning the elevators back on.

We get back upstairs and go to sleep for the 2 hours that we had left before we had to get up to get me to the airport.

Lessons learned? Don't assume that booking a 3.5 star hotel on hotwire is going to get you a good night's sleep in a comfy bed. Always take a fire alarm seriously, but don't assume that anyone else will. Remember all the fire safety rules you know and actually use them in the event of a fire. Most importantly, don't smoke.

made it to Durango

2008-06-13T21:46:00.002-07:00

Our team made it to Durango, CO for MOVE that starts on Monday. It really is beautiful here. The mountains are green, the city is well kept and nice and there's plenty to explore.

We're staying at Fort Lewis College, and they've got a really nice campus. We walked around a little to explore things tonight, so it looks like everything should be pretty easy to find. We'll set up all day tomorrow in hopes of enjoying our Sunday before the students get here.

We had some prayer time tonight for the week ahead, asking God to protect this campus, to allow His Spirit to move freely among the students and just to be with this team as we go about doing God's work for the glory of His Kingdom, and not for our own names.

I'm excited and privilege to be apart of MOVE this coming week. It's always exciting to be a part of things this first week out when it's all fresh and new, everyone is nervous and excited and anxious all at the same time.

Be praying for us, for the week ahead and for the students we hope to reach.

using your degree..or not?

2008-05-27T12:09:00.004-07:00

I got to spend some time with a friend of mine from college this weekend. We graduated with the same degree in online media from the University of Florida. I had intentions of actually entering the field of journalism, whereas my friend Jenna had intentions of staying as far away from a newsroom as possible. As is usual with the crazy, unpredictable way that life goes - she ended up at a newspaper in their online department, I ended up at a non-profit - no where near a news room.

Jenna really enjoys her job. The skills that we both learned about generating web content, coding, content management systems and all other kinds of web skills were essential for getting her her job. (Plus her assertiveness, ability to catch on quickly, and natural ability for the coding world).

I too love my job, and wonder sometimes how I ended up with that degree and with this job. You hear it all the time that people don't end up using their undergrad degree, I just didn't assume that I'd be one of those people. The more that I delve into new responsibilities at work, the more I feel parts of my degree creeping in. As I get more involved with marketing I see parts of my experience in news rooms seeping its way back into my subconscious.

I look forward to continuing my education whether on my own through life and work experience or through going back to school one day. Either way, ultimately my degree helped get me to this point in life whether I'm directly in the field I intended to be in or not.

i remember the excitement

2008-05-18T20:18:00.002-07:00

Our group of summer interns for Move comes tomorrow, and I can't help but remember how excited I was the night before I left for my internship at CIY. I was beyond excited. I just remember having all the anticipation for this summer that would change my life - ha, it did.

I went to a secular university, spent a lot of my time around non-Christians, and I was eager to found my niche in a safe and healthy and environment. I remember being so worried that I would feel like an outcast, coming together with a huge group of other college students, most of whom, I assumed, came from Bible colleges and Christian universities. I was worried I didn't know enough about the Bible to lead a devotion, to pray aloud, to quote scripture. But for all of my fears and anxieties, I had equal parts of anticipation and joy.

I flew into the Joplin airport, a literal joke within its own title! I brought way too many suitcases, (not altogether uncharacteristic of me, although, I'd like to think I'm a more experienced packer now), I had flown on three flights to get there, and I couldn't wait to get started. I came to CIY to serve Christ, to literally feel His presence in my life again and to discover His will and purpose for my life. What I thought His will was for me at the beginning of the summer was completely by the end. He wanted me to move to Joplin and work full time at CIY - the joke was on me this time.

I loved every minute of that summer. As I pray for our intern group tomorrow and this summer, I pray that they let God use them. I pray that they let God speak to them in a mighty way, because He definitely will - if they listen.

the end is in sight

2008-05-07T20:38:00.003-07:00

We're in Omaha, just a few days before our last believe of this tour. It will be weird to think this is the last time we'll see this program, but nice to know that we're all going to get some time at home for a while.

We're at the Hampton in Omaha. The Hampton just happens to be one of my very favorite hotels...because of the beds. I looked up the facts on the cloud nine bed and it turns out it's a pillow top mattress that makes it extra plush and cushy.

Not to mention, they put duvets on their bed now so you're not so afraid to let the comforter actually touch you like have to be at other hotels where the first thing you do is move the comforter a good 3-4 feet from your face.

Should be a good night's sleep...

more traveling

2008-04-30T20:16:00.008-07:00

I leave for Texas tomorrow. I'm going to go visit Joyce, the woman I wrote about before. Since they put her on a feeding tube she's been doing better, so she's excited to see my mom and I tomorrow.

It's too bad that I have to travel on my one weekend off, but travleling is necessary sometimes, so it's okay. It's interesting for me being so naturally a homebody to have taken a job where I travel this much.

It's been good for me. It forces me to not get too comfortable with staying home all the time, and it forces me to be more adventurous - both good things when you're naturally cautious.

I don't love living out of a suitecase, it greatly limits how many outfits I can choose from! It's annoying to have to do laundry on a schedule because you have to put the same clothes back in a suitcase. Oh well. It's all good.

every day is new year's

2008-04-25T20:45:00.003-07:00

I've come to the conclusion that every day can be new year's if you want. Granted, the ball won't drop, you won't get to wear a cool party hat, and you may not get to sing Auld Lang Syne (the standard new year's song,) but you can still set new year's resolutions and goals - daily.

It seems like every day I think of things I can do better, things I can say better or word differently, ways I can learn more or do more efficiently, and every day I'll fail at one thing but succeed at another.

I'll keep setting goals and changing old ones because I'm persistent. But my most important and constant resolution will be to keep creating new ones.

For now though, my goal will be to get some sleep. We have to wrap up our Michigan believe in the morning and I have to get up early!

poor customer service...or not.

2008-04-24T18:00:00.003-07:00

I wrote an entire blog entry about the things that bother me about service in restaurants, and then I deleted it. It was good: precise, specific and with very fair and reasonable criticisms. But, I read it over and decided, why am I in such a hurry, why am I so impatient, does it really matter?

In some ways, yes, it does, because you're paying for your food and you should be able to enjoy it - not be distracted by poor customer service. But on the other hand, it's a small issue in a world of things that can drive you crazy and get under your skin if you let them - so I let it go.

Wait until I have a really bad experience, then I won't be able to let it go!

the difficult inevitables

2008-04-22T20:50:00.005-07:00

I was an intern at the Dallas Morning News the summer of my junior year of college, 2005. I moved to the city for my 10-week internship and needed an affordable and very temporary place to live. Because we'd lived in the Dallas area when I was growing up, we had some family friends that lived in the area. An elderly couple that my mom was close friends with was nice enough to let me live with them for the summer. They hadn't really seen me since I was in elementary school, so the fact that they would let me stay with them, for free, for 10 weeks was a pretty big deal.

Joyce and Bob welcomed me into their home. I think back to that summer and remember wanting to lock those memories tight in my memory bank, because I knew it was a special time for both them and me. They had children that were grown up with families and kids of their own. They already lived a full and active life before I came into it. Joyce played bridge every Tuesday, went to a book club once a week, went to 'Young at Heart' meetings/parties, was heavily involved at church, volunteered, and generally kept herself very busy. Bob still traveled for work every few weeks. They didn't really need me to come and make their life more interesting, but it happened anyway.

We would have breakfast together every morning before I left for work. They'd have dinner waiting for me when I got home. We'd all sit down together and share the stories from our days. When I'd have a story in the paper that day, Joyce would already have it cut out, sitting in the pile of my stories that she was saving. It was so sweet. Why would she really have any need to save them? It was thoughtful, touching, a special thing to have such a devoted fan.

On my days off I'd try to help them in their garden. They put a lot of work into their landscaping, and it was summertime in Texas, so you can imagine how hot it was. They made sure to take me out for dinner or a movie every now and again to make things interesting. I remember Joyce rescheduling some of her bridge games for my days off so that I could learn to play. She let me in on some of her scrabble secrets, let me help her with her NYT crossword, and even let me help her with her puzzles - a sacred thing.

There was something about my time with them that summer that enriched my life as much as I was unknowingly enriching theirs. There's something about being young and spending time with your elders that is to be cherished, honored. There were moments that summer that I remember thinking, 'I'm so scared to love these two this much, because it's inevitable that they won't always be around.' And this is true for anyone we care about, but there's something that brings it all into focus more clearly because they're older.

I write all this now because Joyce is sick. She has had lupus disease for many years, and currently has pneumonia for the second time in a few months. From my limited understanding, breathing can potentially get harder and harder for her as a result of these things, and it could be a matter of time before it will be too difficult. My mom said she's made a list of those that she wants to see before she dies.

My mom and I are going to try and go and see her within the next week or so. I don't know how hard that will be. I don't know how it will feel to see her like that - a woman that normally talks a mile a minute having difficulty breathing, let alone talking. I know the feelings I already have about it. I know that I am so thankful that she is a Christian, a woman that deeply loves Jesus and will be with her Heavenly Father when she leaves this earth. I know that I can thank God for my time with her that summer. I knew that I was with her that summer for a reason. If for nothing else, than to be able to have poured out my love for her that summer, to have known her and to have a memory of her always.

These are the inevitables of life, these difficult situations that you can't avoid. It's easier when you're my age to avoid some of these things for longer because most of my friends are young, my parents are still pretty young and you just kind of take things for granted, thinking that the people that make up your world will be around forever.

I hope I get to see Joyce soon. I want to tell her that I love her, as she and I did every time we said goodnight that summer. I want to give her a hug, and remember what it feels like to hug someone that dear to you.

a successful weekend

2008-04-20T19:44:00.002-07:00

We just wrapped up both our first two-event weekend at believe. It was a great weekend, really. You know, I thought today would have felt a lot worse, like the never-ending believe, but it went really well.

We had an awesome group of volunteers that came for the second half of the weekend. They came in and took over the bookstore for us, and really just gave us the support we needed to make the second half of the weekend run itself almost.

Having extra staff really gives me a chance to sneak in and see parts of the program that after 11 events I still haven't seen. I snuck into the auditorium for my favorite part of our tour this year - when Yancy sings "Lead Me to the Cross" and Robin dances. There's this red line element that is used throughout the weekend at believe to represent our connection with God. There's just something about this element that always sticks with me.

It's incredible to me that this red line in my life always looks different. I feel like every day I learn something new about our creator. I learn something else about His faithfulness, about His goodness and about His love. As I get to know people that share my faith, I am struck by how much I can learn about God through the faithfulness of others. I admire the powerful devotion of those that I work with at CIY, and even those that I meet through the ministry that I serve. Sometimes I think that I have this notion that I can learn enough about God to at least fully wrap my head around His love for us, and then there's something else I hear or experience that just sends me back to square one - feeling like I don't know anything about the God that I serve, or rather that I don't know anything about the limitlessness of the God that I serve.

All this to say that believe has been great for the jr. highers that we program for, but it is great for us behind the scenes too. God uses this program to do great things for everyone involved. Our team grows up in Christ together as we do this event weekend after weekend. It challenges us and shapes us in new ways all the time, and I am thankful for that.

a midwest earthquake

2008-04-18T04:17:00.002-07:00

Oddly enough, there was an earthquake in Illinois this morning. People from Louisville and even Alabama were calling in to the news stations to say that they felt it. But here in Anderson, IN - nothing.

Sadly, I was awake at 5:30 a.m. when it happened, but I didn't feel anything. I'll have to ask our team to see if any of them did. My guess is - they didn't.

Hopefully this will be the only rare occurrence of the weekend!

say anything

2008-04-17T19:37:00.003-07:00

It's been 5 months since my last blog post, that's pretty bad. At Chase's insistence, I have to blog, and anyone who knows Chase knows that he's annoyingly convincing, so I am.

We're in Anderson, IN getting ready for our first believe weekend with two events in one weekend. We'll welcome our first group tomorrow and our second group on Saturday. We're expecting about 3,000 jr. highers this weekend, so it should be exciting!

As Shawn and I drove the streets (street, really) of Anderson today I told her that I should stop complaining about Joplin, as it could be worse - we could live in Anderson! They do have a Wal-Mart, a Target, an Old Navy, a Starbucks, and a mall (sort of), but really, there isn't a whole lot else. At least we have more restaurants!

Our team almost had some authentic Indiana sushi this evening, but through some misinformation from our production manager via some confusion with google, it was too far away. Oh well, we missed out on midwest sushi.

The believe crew starts at 8 a.m. tomorrow. We've got a long weekend ahead of us, but we'll have some fun in there too...

10 Things I learned at Youth Specialties this weekend...

2007-11-19T08:24:00.001-07:00

1. Taking 3 middle school boys on a 4-day trip away from home means that they're probably not going to shower.

2. Just the idea of a chance at a free iPod will make heads turn faster than anything.

3. You can get enough free stuff.

4. People are suckers for those Ozark suckers - no matter their age.

5. The stereotype of an organization based in Joplin, MO hasn't gotten any better; I believe the phrase went, "how did you get that plasma TV in Joplin?" My response, "we had to wait two years, but we were really excited."

6. There is so much money to be made in the parking industry. Get a small box with a sliding window, a yellow bar that will rise and fall at the touch of a button, set it up wherever parking is far from a building, and start charging obscene amounts of money. Oh, and don't forget to take away in-and-out privileges - that's the best.

7. Low clearance, 15-passenger van, inclined ramp = nail-biting, eye-closing, prayerful good time.

8. When driving on only one-way streets, there is a chance that you could see your building, from all sides, and still not know how to get to it.

9. Eating pizza from a trash can sounds much worse than it actually is. (Does it count if it was still in the box and you saw it go in to the trash?)

10. Beatboxing can kill hours of time, provide a lot of entertainment, and can be done about just about anything.

fast times in jr. high

2007-09-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

The bell rang at 8:05, but we were late for first period. The locker-lined hallways were mostly empty, save for the few students who were also late. We would have been on time, but we had to stop by the Principal's office - which is never good.

My fellow believe team member Chase and I went back to jr. high today. It wasn't exactly like I remembered, but then again I went to middle school in Southern California and we were in Southeastern Tulsa. Not exactly apples to apples, but jr. high kids pretty much are.

These kids were awesome. They were awkward, know-it-all, witty, insecure, sarcastic seventh and eighth graders, and they were great. We started off first period in an eighth grade literature course where the students were eagerly devouring (ha!) John Steinbeck's 'The Pearl." A literary classic from 1945, they were asked to infer the meaning of words like 'bulwark,' 'estuary,' 'poultice,' and 'undulating.' I'm pretty sure I remember the word 'undulating' from a Fiona Apple song, but even I couldn't exactly figure out these definitions from context clues alone.

There were so many things facing these students that I thought were different than when I was growing up: immodest fashion trends, technology, pressures. And then I realized, there were so many things still the same. Wanting to have the right answer in class. Being that eager, much despised girl who always has her hand up. Wanting to crack a joke at just the right time to make everyone laugh and not get in trouble. There were still those two girls talking not-so-discreetly in the back of the class. The boy who looks like he rolled out of bed, who stares blankly off into space while you're left to wonder 'what's he thinking about.'

The teacher we spent the day with explained to Chase and I that a lot of the development occurring in the brain of jr. highers is in the frontal lobe - which means their emotional development is taking place. So when you ask a kid 'what were you thinking?' the answer is, 'they weren't.'

We sat through second period, the reading for pleasure course. I definitely didn't get that option, or I surely would have taken it. This was an eclectic mix. Over half in glasses, one girl with an ACDC bag (does she even know who they are?), a sci-fi reader, a comic book geek, and a girl working her way through the christian fiction 'True Colors' series by Melody Carlson. There were all pretty quiet.

This class made their way to the computer lab to take use a computer reading program to assess their reading skill levels. The computer teacher explained to them that they should be able to read 300 words a minute. Chase and I glance at each other, can we even read and comprehend at 300 words a minute?

The Sandite mentor time was by far our favorite part of the day. Basically this is 15 minutes for the teacher to spend time with the same group of students twice a week. Just to talk, know what classes their taking, invest in them. Well, as today's topic was a series of 'what if' questions, it was chaos. By far the question that sparked the most debate was "would you rather be dumb and rich or smart and poor?" Brian (the most vocal one) answers immediately, "Smart and poor. Because you can always make money if you're smart." Ahhh, a wise one. To which another kid responds, "Rich and dumb, because you can buy intelligence." Brian responds, "You can't fix stupid if you're born stupid, stupid." Classic.

I learned a lot. You can't underestimate jr. highers. They're much more intelligent than they get credit for. While a lot of them are using their intelligence to come up with witty ways to hide their intelligence to remain cool, they still have it in them. These kids are balancing seven courses at a time, plus any extra curriculers, and who knows what kind of home life.

Today helped me regain some perspective on these middle schoolers. I think I'll see them differently when they show up to believe. I'll think of Michelle who lent me a piece of paper in class. I'll think of John who was scared to walk in early to class. I'll think of Brian who had just the right comment to make everyone laugh. And I'll think of the ones whose names I didn't learn and who just want to be noticed.

These students need Christ - every one of them. They'll find identity in Him. They'll find a meaning for their lives. They'll find hope in troubled family lives and broken homes. I can't wait until we welcome our first group into the doors in Arlington. As we call students to CONNECT with Christ this year, I pray for each one of them that they will.

A Summer at ONES

2007-07-02T19:16:00.000-07:00

Well, Robin and I already wrapped up two at Milligan College in TN with our team. The summer is flying by, (and that was already almost 2 weeks ago!)

It was awesome. Students seem to be really responding to our ONES theme, and that couldn't make us happier. I've received a lot of emails from youth ministers who just want to tell us that God is working in the hearts of their youth, even after they leave conference and have to return to the "real world."

We've heard of students who have left sinful, sexual relationships, despite pain and many tears. We've heard of students who have made first time decisions to follow Christ, despite that their parent's won't support them and certainly won't understand.

I was so touched by a girl that I met at one of the TN conferences. She was sitting alone one night before Celebration, in tears. I approached her, and she just opened up, telling me about how the "injury" night at conference brought up a lot of painful things about her relationship with her father.

It was heartbreaking, it was sad, but it was healing, and she knew that. "Injury" night forced her to face a lot of ways that she had been hurt in her life, not physically, but emotionally and verbally, by a loved one.

We all have faced that. It was horrible to see her upset, but awesome for me to get to talk to her, and pray with her, and hear how God was using this night to give her a voice and allow her to speak out to her father, to tell him how he's injured her.

It's already been a powerful summer, and we still have over 4,000 students coming our way in IL.

God is moving at ONES this summer. I hope you're there to experience it.

The things you don't expect...

2007-04-17T16:59:00.000-07:00

I heard about the shooting at Virginia Tech yesterday about 5 hours or so after it happened. I didn't think a whole lot of it at first - just, "how sad," really. But as I've watched news reports on it, my mind has started to process this tragedy from all different perspectives, and I can't help but put myself in everyone's shoes.

The students in the classrooms...this I can't even begin to fathom. I remember what it's like being in a large, university setting. You feel safe in most areas of campus when it's not late at night, but you always feel safe in a classroom. There's no real reason why. There aren't really security cameras, there are police on campus, but they're just there for traffic tickets (or so you bitterly think.) I guess having a professor in the room, someone older; seemingly wiser that you look up to somehow creates this safe environment where the outside world can't break through. I remember just walking across campus, surrounded by thousands of other students, I still felt safe, as if the outside world had no way into our university community. I imagine this is how the students in those classrooms felt before this happened. Impenetrable, safe from the dangers you hear on the news, safe in a setting where you discuss violence and news with a voice of skepticism, or just merely for the sake of discussion, but not because you've lived it.

The friends and families of the victims...one of my friends called me yesterday to say she loved me. Not for any real reason, but for the fact that this shooting was a reminder that we can't always take our loved ones for granted when there's people in the world tortured by hatred, driven by evil desires to inflict pain on others and selfishly take their lives. It's things like this that always shake people up a little, remind them to call their parents more, remind them to keep in touch with their friends, remind them to not take any time together for granted. I know my mom, as most moms probably were, was troubled by the news. With only one of my sisters in a college setting anymore, she wasn't hurting from personal experience, but rather from the shared grief that goes into losing a child. I cannot imagine that, but I know the hurt of losing a friend, and you can't explain it, you can't pray the feeling away, and you certainly can't fix it.

The news media...the journalist in me feels for these reporters. I know most people wouldn't, and don't feel bad for those in this profession that we assume are swarming the campus, sticking their microphones and notepads where they aren't wanted, but there is a heart behind their mask too. I feel for the print journalists. The ones who are doing their best to find words that can adequately and graciously describe the emotions felt by these poor students, the journalists who are trying to share these stories of loss not to fill our sick curiosity, but rather to help document this tragedy, so that we may all empathize with their grief, to help take the brunt of their loss and to feel what they feel, even if only in part. I try and imagine what it would be like if I were working for a paper in the area. I've pictured the scenario of being asked by an editor to go out to this campus, to try and find someone to talk to, preferably an eyewitness, someone who can tell me something we haven't heard. I can imagine feeling nauseous, sick to my stomach even, as I would drive to the campus. I can imagine my palms sweating as I would approach a student, what would I say? What did they say?

I remember when I was sent to a memorial service for a 16-year-old girl who had died earlier that morning in a car wreck. I can so vividly remember all of the things that I felt as I approached the scene - horrified at myself for even having the nerve to be there. But then I remember laying low, taking in the scene, watching them hang up pictures, gather together in a circle to pray, singing a song. And I remember crying, with her friends, with her family, feeling everything they were, or a third of it at least. I remember leaving with pages of notes, quotes about what an amazing person she was, quotes about how she was loved, and as cliché as it all was, it was so worth it to me. I somehow felt like I would get to offer her one small, tiny piece of recognition. One small chance that the world might know her story, might know something of her brief 16 years in this world.

I want to encourage myself to read about the victims in the days to come. As standard biographies and anecdotes are released about these victims, we need to take the time to read it, if for nothing else than to give recognition to these lives that were so abruptly taken.

Who knows if any of those killed knew Jesus? Who knows if any of them went to be with the Lord? I hope to God they did. But in a world so full of hatred and evil, this can’t discourage us. I just felt my mom's heaviness on the phone today, and I thought, as Christians we can grieve, we can all grieve for these lives, for this sadness, but we can't get heavy of heart. There is so much work to do. There are so many people to still share the gospel with. There is so much good news we need to spread. There are still so many who don't know Jesus - I just had to call myself back to action to remember that we must continue to spread the Good News despite the bad quickly closing in around us.

best birthday so far...

2007-02-25T20:21:00.000-07:00

I turned 22 on Wednesday, not a significant birthday by worldy terms, but a great one for me. It probably doesn't sound like anyone's ideal birthday: spending 10-11 hours in a 12 passenger van, driving through rural parts of the midwest and seeking out the next QT gas station, (Chase - I'm not blaming you for this) as our Believe team headed to Cincinnati for our largest event of the tour. But really, I couldn't have been happier. Spending my birthday in a van wasn't just that for me. It was more like a milestone, or a mile marker really...just a reminder of where I am as I start this next year and chapter of my life. I was with my Missouri family, and that meant everything to me.

It's awesome to be at CIY. It's great to work with Believe. It's an incredible gift to be able to drive to another city to put on an event for jr. high students to tell them about the powerful and redeeming love of Christ. While I personally am not the one on stage or in a small group telling the students about Jesus, I am a member of a powerful team that God is using to do incredible things every weekend we dedicate to the Gospel.

On Saturday our staff got together and sang happy birthday to Sara and me, since we both celebrate our birthdays on the 21st. And while it's always a little embarassing to be sung to, it was sweet, and it was special - because these are the people that I'm sharing my life with right now, and I wouldn't want it any other way. It's moments like these that I try and capture, because they'll come and go; moments when I remember that signs of God's faithful hand at work in the world and in my life, are all around me.

Psalm 119:
"You're blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God. You're blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him."

P.S. to those I criticized for making me blog: it's not so bad, I admit defeat :)